Page 121 of Of Heartbreak and Harmony
His head tilts slightly to the side, and I see something flash in his emerald eyes. I swear his pupils dilate, and when he speaks, his voice sounds rougher than it did seconds earlier.
“I...selected...women who were interested in being shared for thesexual experience—for the extreme pleasure we could bring each other—without threat of getting my heartbroken.”
“So...it’s not something you’d do with someone you have feelings for...?”
His lips quirk up a fraction at the corner, and he shakes his head once. “I didn’t say that.”
I furrow my brow. “But with Savannah?—”
“With Savannah, there was no trust. I had no desire to be vulnerable with her in that way, and I wasn’t confident that our connection could survive it.”
I sink my teeth into my lower lip and hold his gaze as I contemplate his words. I keep coming back to one question. One follow-up that threatens to launch from my mouth with excessive force, so I bite harder. Torren’s lips twitch again, and he closes the distance until he’s less than a foot in front of me.
“Ask me.”
My forehead creases with doubt, and he finally lets his smirk break free. It’s small, yet infuriatingly taunting.
“Ask me the question.”
I take several more breaths. “So, if you were in a relationship with someone you felt...secure with...?”
“If I was in a relationship with someone who I trusted—who I was confident would still be mine after—and she wanted to experience it, I would do it. Once.”
“Oh.”
His admission brings a visual to the forefront of my mind. A fantasy that makes my nipples pebble and a heated flush surge to my cheeks. I watch as his eyes grow hooded, and the small smile spreads, showing those white teeth and sharp canines. I can practically feel them biting into the soft flesh of my thighs, and my blush spreads to my neck and chest.
“You naughty girl. How long have you been thinking about it?” His fingertips trace my jaw, then ghost over my lips, pressing on the bottom one before wrapping lightly around my neck. The cold silver of his rings feels erotic against my burning skin, and my eyes flutter shut. “You want to be fucked by me and Jonah, Firebird?”
I don’t let myself say yes, but I don’t say no. Ican’tsay no, becausefuck, Idowant it. I’ve wanted it ever since I learned about it. Just once. Just to know what it’s like. Just to have the experience. They’ve done it before, so I’m sure they’d make it good for me, and it’s been over a year since I’ve had sex. Goddamn Jonah for sparking these thoughts. Goddamn Torren for seeing right through me.
I press my thighs together, and Torren tightens his grip on my neck, coaxing a tiny whimper from my lips.
“Are you picturing it? Pressed between us. Both of us on you.Inyou.”
I suck in a shuttering breath and force my eyes open. I’m met with dilatated pupils deep with hunger. This is not where I saw this conversation going when I stormed off at dinner, but now that we’re here, I don’t even try to get out of it.
“We’d worship you,” he says, his voice low and husky. “But you already know that, don’t you?”
He gazes into my eyes, and I just know he can read my thoughts. I just know he can see the nights and nights of my fantasies portraying exactly what he’s just said. I can’t hide any of it from him anymore, and I don’t want to.
He leans in close, brushing his lips over mine before putting his mouth to the shell of my ear.
“If you want it, if youreallywant it, I’ll give it to you. All you have to do is ask. But only once. Your heart belongs to me, Firebird, and once you’re mine, Iwon’tshare.”
When he steps away from me, dropping his hand from my throat, I turn and bolt for my room. I can hear his chuckle through the door. I give myself ten deep breaths to try and calm down, but when that doesn’t work, I dig through my duffle for my pajamas, my toiletries, and my toothbrush. I’m going to take a freezing cold shower to help calm me down. Then, maybe,hopefully,I’ll be able to fall to sleep.
32
TORREN
The house looks morerundown than it did last time I was here.
The siding is grimier. The roof is more slouched. The small front porch sags toward the middle, and each step groans under my weight as I climb them. The wood is probably rotting, and the next time I visit, I wouldn’t be surprised to find cinder blocks where the stairs once were.
Before I knock, I glance over my shoulder at Damon. He’s standing next to the SUV with his arms crossed, a stern expression on his face.
The buses are on their way to Miami, but Hammond insisted on Damon accompanying me instead of just letting me have one of the SUVs like usual. I do almost everything with Damon, so him being here shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I know that the likelihood of him finding the situation shocking or disturbing is slim, but I still can’t get comfortable with the idea of sharing any of this with anyone. It’s just another reason to resent Sav’s fucking stalker. My annual trip to my mom’s house is personal. It’s something I’d rather be doing alone. But now? Well, now I’ve got to do it with a babysitter.
