Page 11 of For Wrath and Redemption
I furrow my brow as I drop the espresso pod into the fancy coffee machine and run through all the pros of working at this company. It’s arguably one of the best marketing firms in the country. Probably even the world. Not only does it look great on a résumé, but they promote from within, so there’s a lot of opportunity to grow. It’s also been named one of the top ten best places to work in the city every year for the last five years, and one glance around this office will tell you why. It’s a bright, collaborative space full of motivated, happy people.
I absolutely love my job. But damn, I wish my personal life weren’t so...
Constricting.
I push the button on the espresso machine, and it whirs to life, then I drop my head back, tilting my face to the ceiling. My memories bring me back to a day in 5thAvenue Brew a year ago. I’d sit in that café every weekend with my double espresso and my laptop. I’d only been in the city for a couple of months, and I’d just accepted the position as a junior creative developer at Innovation Media. I was fresh-faced, wide-eyed, and full of hope.
Enter Conrad Henderson, with his salt-and-pepper hair, his pale blue eyes, and his charming smile. Every weekend, he found me in that coffee shop. Every weekend for a month we spoke, and when he finally asked me on a date, I was already half in love with him. I didn’t care that he was twice my age or that I knew no real details about his personal life. All I cared about was that he wasn’t wearing a ring, and he looked at me like I was the only person in the room. He was the most attentive listener. He complimented me. He made me feel important, and I was enamored.
Then, three months into our relationship, I had my first department meeting with the CEO. I felt sick to my stomach when my new boyfriend was the man standing at the front of the boardroom. I felt myself go pale. I nearly passed out.
But he...
Well, he was completely unfazed.
When he called me for a private meeting later that evening, I was furious. I was prepared to end it. But then he promised me that our relationship wouldn’t interfere with my job. He said I was important to him. That he’d never felt for anyone what he felt for me.
I’ll never forget what he said to me in his office that evening.
You make me want to fall in love again.
And then he fucked me on the couch in his office.
I can’t help but laugh at myself now. I was so naïve, so blindly enamored with him that it took me a while to realize that Conrad had to have known who I was the whole time. When we’d met, I had my company-issued laptop and my security badge clipped to my bag. For three months, he’d lied to me. Omitted important truths. All while knowing I was a newly hired junior creative at his company.
And now it’s coming back to bite me in the ass.
As if I need a reminder of my recent professional snub, Brandt Macystruts up beside me just as I’m tossing my used espresso pod in the trash. I greet him politely despite my urge to sneer. It’s not Brandt’s fault I was passed over for this position. He’s not the one sleeping with the CEO. Brandt is actually a really nice guy, even if he is a card-carrying member of the nepotism club.
“Morning, Brandt. Congrats again on getting the MixMosaic lead.”
“Thanks, Claire.” Brandt returns my smile and shoves his hands in his pockets. “But you and I both know it should have been your position.”
My brows shoot up, and he laughs. “Don’t look surprised. You did great work.”
I cock my head to the side and eye him suspiciously. “If you think I should have gotten the lead, then why did you take it?”
“The call came from Henderson,” he says with a sheepish shrug. “I don’t really feel comfortable going against the CEO. I hear he’s kind of a dick.”
I huff out a laugh, but I don’t confirm or deny. I turn my attention to one of the brainstorming whiteboards and inhale the scent of my fresh espresso instead. I always feel so awkward when Conrad comes up in conversation.
“Anyway.” Brandt drags out the word and then pauses nervously, drawing my eyes back to his face. “I look forward to working with you on it.”
My hesitation isn’t intentional. It just takes me a moment to sift through the conflict stirring in my mind. I’ll still have to work on this campaign. Do I do my best work, knowing Brandt will likely get all the credit, or do I take a step back and let him fumble the job to make a point? From the uncertain expression on his face, it seems he’s been worrying about it, too.
God, he looks so fucking pitiful right now. And the truth is that I probably couldn’t slack even if I wanted to. I’m too excited. I have too many ideas. The realization makes my stomach twist into a tighter knot. It feels like a concession, like a surrender, but it also feels unavoidable. The MixMosaic campaign is going to be a huge success, and Brandt Macy will probably get a promotion based on my hard work. Hours and hours of planning, preparation, and some of my best designs will go toward boosting someone else’s career, and I did it to myself.
I sigh.
“I’m looking forward to it, too,” I say slowly. “We meet at ten, right?”
He nods. “Ten.”
“See you then.”
I make my way back to my desk slowly, but I keep my head high. I push down the jealousy and anger. I ignore the feelings of being used. Of being overpowered. I try to silence the chanting inside my mind. The thoughts that have grown louder recently. Reminders that I am not good enough.
Not good enough for Conrad. Not good enough for this job. Not good enough.
