Page 122 of The Temptation of Truth
She leaves the exec suite without another word, so I release a loud, dramatic,Sav Loveless-coded sigh that she doesn’t acknowledge as I reluctantly follow her.
We don’t speak as we weave through the halls, and I don’t bother catching up to her. I drag my feet and lag despite it being childish. I don’t know what she wants—probably to assault me with more nosy questions—but I’m in no hurry to find out.
As we approach the dressing room though, I grow nervous. I hate lying to Sav. I hate having to dodge these conversations. Keeping a secret from your best friend is so fucking hard, and I hate doing it. I hate it so much. I’m so far in my own head, that when we walk through the door, I don’t see her stop in front of me until I’m running smack into her.
“Fuck, Sav.” I step back and rub my forehead. “What the hell?”
“Oh, sorry. You must have been too busy daydreaming about Ham’s niece to see me.”
I can feel the blood drain from my face until I’m sure I’m white as a sheet. The reaction is all the confirmation Sav needs, and she flings a finger in my direction.
“I fucking knew it. I knew it! Jesus, Mabes, what the actual fuck are you thinking? She’s not just Ham’s niece, she’s married! Married!”
I clamp my eyes shut. I know she’s right. Fuck, I know it. I just don’t want to admit it.
“How did you know?”
“I could tell she was into you from the beginning. I just didn’t think you’d fucking act on it. But then you got all crush-faced and spacey, and you both started disappearing at the same time, so it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. Please tell me you’re just hanging out.”
I don’t respond to her last sentence and instead blurt out the first thing that comes to my head. “What do you meanyou could tellshe was into me?”
Sav pinches the bridge of her nose. “For fuck’s sake, Mabel.”
“What do you mean, Savannah?”
She glares at me, but I wave my hands, signaling for her to spit it the fuck out because I am dying to know. She caves, thank God.
“She literally stalked you with her eyes every time you were in a room together. I’m sure she thought she was subtle, but?—”
“But you noticed because you’re a fucking annoying, nosy, pain in the ass?”
“Oh, shut up. You’re not mad at me. You’re just mad you got caught.”
I groan and throw myself on the couch. She’s not wrong, and I hate it.
“Please tell me it hasn’t gone further than hanging out. You haven’t crossed any physical lines, right?”
I can’t tell her what she wants to hear, so I drop my head between my knees and say nothing. She releases a groan that mimics mine, then the couch dips as she plops down next to me.
“Okay,” she says on a defeated sigh. “Okay. At least tell me it was just physical, and you haven’t actually caught feelings. Just a harmless crush. Right? We can work with a harmless crush.”
Iwantto tell her that. I want it to be true so badly, but I know myself better than that. I’ve definitely fallen for Aurora, and there’s no point in lying. Sav would see right through me anyway.
When I don’t speak up, the back of the couch bounces because she’s dramatically thrown herself into it, and when I look at her, she’s staring at the ceiling. We sit in the quiet for what feels like an hour, and when she finally breaks the silence, her voice has a morose tone that makes my whole body deflate.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Mabes. I want whatever you want, but I honestly cannot picture an outcome that doesn’t end in you getting your heart shattered.”
I close my eyes again and lean back into the couch beside her. My eyes well with tears, but I don’t let them breech my lashes. It won’t help anything.
“I know,” I whisper. And Idoknow. I’ve just been avoiding it. I’ve been lying to myself by refusing to take off the metaphorical rose-colored glasses. “I shouldn’t have let this happen. I know that. But, God, Sav, I just...”
I trail off and shake my head.
How do I say this without sounding like an idiot? Without coming off as a completely naïve fool? I should have known better. I should have been more careful. I never should have let it get this far, but I just...I just...
My thoughts are reeling, searching frantically for a way to explain it, but then Sav takes my hand and squeezes.
“But the connection is so strong, you couldn’t fight it,” she says quietly, and I’m so fucking relieved to hear understanding in her voice.
