Page 68 of The Temptation of Truth
“What about you, Sav?”
The forced levity in Aurora’s tone has my smile flickering, but Sav is too busy snuggling Teddy to notice.
“What about me?”
“Do you have baby fever?”
The terror that passes over Savannah’s face has me snort laughing. She shakes her head and hands Teddy back to Claire.
“Take her. I don’t want to get infected.”
She’s so dramatic. Teddy giggles and Claire laughs, but Aurora looks shocked.
“What does that mean?”
Sav’s eyes flare. “My maternal instincts are nonexistent. My desire for a baby is at negative one hundred.”
“Oh. Well, that would change.”
“Trust me. It won’t. One of my favorite things about Ted is that I can give her back when she cries or poops. I’ll be on birth control until I die.”
Aurora’s smile fades and she shakes her head slowly. “Okay, but that would be different if it was your baby. Don’t you want to have a child with your fiancé?”
I can practically see Sav’s defenses shoot up, and the air in the room grows tense.
“We have one. Her name is Brynn.”
“No, of course. But I mean, you know, a child who is biologically yours?”
Sav glances between Claire and me before looking back at Aurora. Aurora must not know that Brynn technically isn’t Levi’s biological child, either, or that she’s just stumbled on a topic that can get Sav extremely heated. I can practically see the protective streak flashing like lightning in her storm gray irises.
“Biology doesn’t matter to me. Shared genetics or not, Brynn’s my kid, and I don’t want another one. The thought of getting pregnant, growing a human, pushing that human out of my vagina, and then having to, like, feed it and change it and raise it and all that? Hard pass.” Sav turns to Claire. “No offense.”
Claire laughs. “Zero offense taken.”
“I am baby free by choice. The universe did me a solid with Brynn because she’s practically a miniature adult. I’d be a shit mom to anyone else.”
As if to prove Sav’s point, Teddy shoutsShit!and Sav grins.
“See? I’m a much better fun auntie.”
I turn back to Aurora, expecting a smile, but instead she looks lost. Confused. Almost scared. Like the foundation beneath her feet is shifting, and she doesn’t know how to keep her balance. Her expression changes as she mentally grasps for something, anything, to ground her. I’d help if I could, but I can’t. I don’t know how.
“I don’t...I mean...” She swallows and fidgets with her fingers. “I mean, doesn’t Levi want you to have his baby? What if you regret not having a baby, and then it’s too late? That’s what everyone wants, right? Isn’t it? It’s what everyone should want. Right?”
My eyes widen, and I dart my attention between the two of them.
Sav’s jaw is tight. Paps love to shout these types of questions at her.Sav, when will you start a family? Sav, do you plan to get pregnant? Sav, will you be putting music on hold when you become a mother?It’s her least favorite topic, tied only with anything questioning her sobriety. Her answer is always the same—No comment—and then she rants to us afterward about how she’d much rather tell everyone to fuck all the way off. Right now, though, I can tell she’s considering her response carefully. Aurora is not the paparazzi, and she’s not trying to get a headline for a gossip mag.
As the silence stretches, Aurora wrings her hands in her lap. Her cheeks go red, and I want to reach for her. Rub her back or hold her hand. Anything to help ease the embarrassment crashing through her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “That was far too personal and very out of line. I’m so, so sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” Sav says. She looks from me to Claire, and back to Aurora, then she leans in and softens her voice. “Aurora, Levi wants what I want because we’re a team. I love my life and my family just as they are. We both do, and we don’t want to change it. I’m fulfilled. I’m happy. I won’t regret my decision to not have a baby. Ever.”
Aurora scans Sav’s face, then drops her attention to her lap. She nods and forces a smile.
“Right. Of course. I’m...I’m happy for you.”
