Page 94 of The Temptation of Truth
The look on my face must be a doozy because she steps closer and lowers her voice.
“What? You look shocked as hell.”
I dart my eyes around the hallway to make sure we’re alone—I hadn’t even noticed we’d turned a corner—and try not to dwell on the fact that the tips of my ears are on fire.
I wouldn’t be able to confess this to anyone else, but Mabel has never once judged me. In fact, I feel more comfortable with her than I have with anyone else in years. Maybe with anyone elseever. She knows more about me than even my own husband, and she makes me feel safe and normal. It makes me want to tell her everything just to hear her confirm that I’m not a complete failure of a human.
Unlike Brady, Mabel doesn’t get condescending when I ask questions or get confused. She doesn’t jump on opportunities to patronize or belittle me. She makes me feel heard and seen. She makes me feelworthy, and it’s something I didn’t know I’d been needing.
I take a step closer, check the hallway once again to be absolutely certain no one will overhear, and lower my voice.
“I just...I guess I didn’t know people actuallydid that.”
“Did what? Have sex?”
“No, I know people have sex. But for that long? And so loud people can hear you? Hours? Headboards banging? That’s movie and book stuff. That’s not real life.”
Mabel’s face is blank as she blinks at me before lifting her eyes over my shoulder.
“Here.” She pushes past me and opens a door, then steps into an unoccupied, lavishly decorated bedroom. “This conversation needs privacy.”
I follow her in and let her close the door behind me, then she plops onto the bed and pats the mattress beside her.
“Sit, Roar. Let’s chat.”
“I sound terribly stupid, don’t I?” I say on a sigh as I take a seat on the bed next to her.
“No.” She shakes her head adamantly and holds eye contact. “Not stupid. Never stupid. Inexperienced? Yeah, sure. But not stupid.”
I roll my eyes “Right. That’s why you’re about to give me a birds and bees lecture.”
She purses her lips, hesitating, and I sigh again.
“Go ahead. It’s fine.”
“I’m going to ask you a deeply personal question.”
A laugh bubbles out of me. As if I need a warning. “Haven’t all of our conversations been deeply personal?”
She smiles and continues. “I know you’ve had sex, but have you everenjoyedsex?”
I don’t even have to think about my answer. “No.”
“Have you only had sex with your husband?”
I shake my head. “No. I had a boyfriend in high school.”
She pauses, and I don’t miss the slight crease on her forehead. I brace myself for the next question I know is coming.
“Have you ever had an orgasm?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Have either of those men brought you to orgasm?”
I think of my encounter with Brady right before I left to come on tour. He’d gone down on me, and I came. The first and only time it’s ever happened during sex. But if I’m going to be honest with myself, I was pretending it wasn’t him. Can I really say he brought me to orgasm? I don’t actually know the answer, so I shrug.
“Kind of? Maybe?”
