Page 108 of Shut Up and Jingle Me
So I just nod, like I understand, and focus on the way his voice still sounds—quiet, rough, too careful and controlled.
We start walking. The hall feels too long, our footsteps too loud. Every so often, our arms brush, accidental and electric, and I hate how my body still reacts like it remembers everything we were.
At the end of the hall, he stops first.
“Guess this is… the part where we stay out of trouble,” he says, his mouth twitching like he’s trying for a smile that doesn’t make it past his eyes.
“Yeah,” I say. “Guess so.”
The silence between us isn’t empty this time. It’s full—of everything I can’t say, of the question sitting on the tip of my tongue:Are we still us? Whatever us we were.
But I don’t ask.
He shifts on his heels and looks like he wants to say something, too. Then he just nods once, small and final.
“See you around, Starling.”
The way he says it—the smallest edge of affection still tucked inside the word—nearly undoes me.
“Yeah,” I manage, my throat too tight. “See you, Calder.”
He turns down the corridor before I can lose my nerve and reach for him. I watch until the sound of his boots fades.
Then I let out a breath I’d been holding, lean against the wall, and stare at the floor tiles until the blur behind my eyes clears.
Technically compliant.
Maybe that’s all we can be right now. But somewhere under the ache, a tiny, dangerous part of me hopes it’s not all we’ll ever be.
I makeit as far as the stairwell in the dorm before I realize I’ve been walking in circles. The hum of the heater and the faint echo of voices somewhere down the hall blur together, distant and dull. My head’s still stuck in that office—in Coach’s tone, in Max’s silence, in the sound of the door clicking shut behind us.
I’m halfway through convincing myself to go skate it off when a familiar voice calls out from the second-floor landing.
“Starling!”
I look up. Luke’s leaning over the railing, grinning like an idiot. Daniel’s a step behind him, coffee cup in hand, eyebrows raised, waiting for my response.
“Hey,” I say, trying for casual. “What’s up? How was your holiday?”
“Same old shit.” Luke’s grin widens. “We’re heading to my room.Mario Kart, bad pizza, and Daniel pretending he’s not terrible at Rainbow Road. You in?”
Daniel deadpans, “He’s in. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
I open my mouth to protest, but Luke’s already coming down the stairs, looping an arm around my shoulders. “C’mon, Starling. We need a third to even out the chaos. Will and Ty don’t get back until Sunday. And Micah is busy with Colt.”
I let him lead me toward his room, Daniel trailing behind us. It’s easier than going back to my own room—and the silence waiting there.
Luke’s dorm room smells like pepperoni, old popcorn, and the faint burn of someone’s long-forgotten candle. The string lights along the window blink unevenly, and the TV hums with the familiar chime of the game loading screen.
They hand me a controller before I can even sit down on one of his bean bags.
“Loser buys dessert,” Luke declares.
I groan. “You’re assuming I’m losing?”
“You always lose,” Daniel says dryly, setting his coffee aside.
“Yeah, because you two team up against me!”
