Page 13 of Make Me Bleed
“How have you been sleeping?”
“Fine.”
“Mo—”
“Just tired, Abel. I don’t want to talk ‘bout it.” She sighs loudly, her voice heavy.
I frown at her, brows furrowed in concern, but I drop it anyway. “Okay.” But I don’t take my eyes off the side of her face as she looks outward.
Maybe her depression is creeping back in… I thought we were getting a handle on it, but maybe not.
“Well, nothing exciting has been happening for me,” I say, trying to change the direction of the conversation. “Just the same ol’ shit.”
“Shit?”
“Stuff. The same stuff as always,” I correct myself quickly at her confusion.
“Oh.”
“What did you do yesterday? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to visit. Work kept me late.”
Her brows furrow, and she reaches up to scratch under her scarf. I can sense her frustration the longer she thinks about it.
“Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t remember.” She grips her hair.
“It’s okay, Mo,” I try to say, but it happens before I realize. She screeches and yanks her scarf off her head. It flutters to the ground, and I reach down to grab it, but it whips away in the breeze. Biting back a groan, I lean forward to talk to Mo.
“Hey, you’re all right. Mo, can you hear me?” Her screeching and howling continues, but it’s normal when she goes into what I call an “episode”, where she gets overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to handle her emotions and they just get the best of her.
I still remember the very first time it happened… the way it scared the living shit out of me. I’d never been more terrified that I’d hurt someone in my life, but the staff all assured me it was normal with her diagnosis and one of those symptoms that just comes in random bursts for seemingly no reason at all.
When she doesn’t answer, I reach forward and press the button on the necklace around her neck to alert the staff. “Morana?” I try again, this time placing a hand on her shoulder. She yelps and jerks, and I pull away, biting back a sigh. I should’ve known.
I was stupid.
I know short-term memory shit is a trigger for her. She’s aware she doesn’t have the best short-term memory, so when she can’t remember something, it sends her into an angry panic. And I just…forgot.
Because my mind is a jumbled mess and it’s filled withhim.
Fuck.
“What’s going on, Abel?”
“I… fuck,” I mutter and push to my feet, yanking my hair back from my face with a huff of hot breath. “I asked her about yesterday since I wasn’t able to make it. I’m… I’m sorry. I wasn’tthinking.” I look up beneath my lashes, another apology already on my lips, but Maragret and Stella are already leaning down to help Mo, much better at helping her through her episode than me as I stand to the side, watching helplessly.
It takes a long time, and by the time they’ve calmed her, Mo is nearly asleep in her chair as they push her back down the trail toward the building.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
Stella offers me a kind smile. “You don’t need to apologize, Abel. You did nothing wrong.”
I wince. “No, Iknow?—”
“Don’t do that,” Margaret cuts in, gentle but firm. “You can’t do that. She doesn’t need blame. She just needs you, and you’re already doing that. We’re all here, and we’re all taking care of her the best we can, right?” She lifts a light brow in question, and I nod in agreement.
“Right.”
