Page 82 of Make Me Bleed
“Who knew me mentioning Ma would finally get an emotional response out of you.”
“Fuck you,” I snap but without any real heat. “You know how your mom is.”
Peris sighs. “Yeah, I do. I barely talked to her for two years myself,” he admits, and I gasp.
“Peris!”
“I know,” he says warily, still holding me tight against him so I can’t look at his face, but I feel his slight tremble in his hold. “I wasn’t in a good place. I’m still not, really. But I just…”
“Couldn’t,” I finish for him, and I feel him nod.
“Yeah.”
“But you’re talking now, right?”
“Yes.”
“And she’s okay?”
His fingers tighten in my hair for just a moment. “Yes, Abel, she’s fine.”
“Good. That’s good.” I swallow against the lump in my throat as I admit the truth. “I miss her. And you.”
“I’m right here.”
“And yet, you’re so far away.”
Peris doesn’t say anything for a while, and I think this is it. I’ve ruined it. “Maybe I don’t have to be,” he rasps eventually, and I force myself to pull my face away from the warmth of his chest to stare up at him. His eyes are open, no longer guarded, and I want to fall into them so fucking badly…
Would that really be such a bad thing?
What’s the worst that could happen?
We’ve already been through the worst, haven’t we? The pain and agony of lies and separation. What if now is the time for us… if only I could just…
“What do you want from me?” I ask him, feeling painfully vulnerable, but I need to ask because I know it’s not just me. I know he needs something specific.
Peris’s tongue flicks out to wet his slightly chapped lips, and I follow the motion greedily with my eyes. “I want your truth. All of it.”
“All of it?” I croak.That’s too much for anyone to bear. I’ve already given him too much.
But he hasn’t run yet,I tell myself.
Maybe…
“Yes, puppy,” he says softly, and I’ve never heard Peris so sincere before. So soft and demure and…fuck.My eyes snap to his to find him already gazing at me. His pupils are dilated, eyes half-lidded, face so open and exposed anddamnit, damnit, damnit.
He fucking loves me.
He’s stillin lovewith me.
How could I be this stupid? To have gone this long questioning this—and him? What does any of that trivial shit matter when Peris ishereright now, looking at melike this?Like I’m the only goddamn person in the world?
“The truth…” I start and then pause because I’m forced to swallow the lump that’s lodged itself in my throat at this monumental realization. My heart is thundering in my chest, and my palms are sweating. “The truth is so fucked, Peris,” I admit, and he huffs against me, his breath a little shaky, and I can’t blame him.
I’m fucking nervous, too.
I don’t know what I’m going to say.
