Page 206 of Spoils of war
It felt likeflying.
Soaring through clouds and heavens that never seemed to end. There was no weight. No fear. No hate. No memories burning at the edges of my mind.
Just air. Air filling my lungs to the brim. And I could breathe.
I could finally breathe.
It was silent. Not the kind of silence that feels empty or cold, but the kind that feels serene. There were no screams of agony, no fire roaring overhead, and no smoke curling down my throat.
No pain.
There was nothing.
And then there was lavender. A lilac ocean, sweet and soft and endless, blooming in every direction as far as I could see. The wind brushed over the petals in slow waves, rippling like an ocean.
I wasn’t sure if I was dead or dreaming, but I had never felt more alive. There was grass beneath my feet, and the sun poured over my skin, soft and golden. I felt like I belonged. Like the grass beneath and the sky above were part of me. As if I was made of sunlight and wind. And beneath it all, I felt the quiet heartbeat of the world.
“Kera!”
Licia’s voice broke through the stillness, raw and cracking. Then her body hit mine, arms wrapping tightly around me as she dragged us both into the grass. I just stared at her, dazed. If I was dead, or dreaming, how was she there?
Will dropped beside us, his hands moving over my arms, my face, like he needed to make sure I was real.
Was I?
“You’re awake,” he breathed, a broken kind of smile tugging at his mouth. “Don’t ever do that again.”
I looked up at him, his eyes were bloodshot. His face tight and pale. “You hear me?” he said, voice low and raw. “You don’t get to do that to us.”
“I had to,” I whispered. “I didn’t know how else to stop it. I couldn’t control it.”
A voice cut in from behind, sharp enough to make me flinch.
“You asshole!”
Aran.
He came toward us fast, anger rolling off him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? What were you thinking?” He scowled. “You collapsed. You stopped breathing. And we couldn’t wake you up. You scared the shit out of us, Kera. Do you even care?”
”I did it for you.” I said.
Aran’s voice cracked. “We thought you were dead, Kera. DEAD!”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, though the words barely came out.
Aran pointed at me, his hand shaking. “No. You don’t get to be sorry.” His voice wasn’t loud, but it cut straight through me. “You don’t get to do something that stupid and then look at us like we’re supposed to be fine with it. We watched your body golimp. You stopped breathing. You stopped—”
His voice cracked again. He turned away, shoving both hands through his hair like he didn’t know what else to do. Then he dropped into the grass beside me, hard, like his legs couldn’t hold him anymore.
“I can’t do that again,” he muttered. “I can’t lose anyone else.”
Before I could find the words, Kalani threw herself into the group, arms wrapping around all of us in a clumsy hug.
And just like that, we were a pile. Me, Licia, Will, Aran, Kalani. Arms tangled. Faces pressed against shoulders. Hands clutching whatever they could reach. We nearly tipped over.
“Move over.” Aran groaned. “I can’t breathe.”
