Page 13 of A Sense of Misgiving
‘I have absolutely no idea what he refers to.’ She looked up at Luke, her expression conveying her confusion. ‘Clearly, he is trying to force you to return me to his unloving care.’
‘You don’t understand because to the best of my knowledge, what he refers to did not happen.’ He shook his head. ‘I refuse to believe it.’ Luke tapped the letter, which Flora had returned to him, against the clenched fingers of his opposite hand. ‘What I don’t understand is how your father could have come by the particulars.’
Flora smiled, attempting to reassure him when all she felt was ungovernable rage at her father’s underhand tactics. ‘You fail to make allowances for the fact that people confide in the clergy. The Church of England does not have the confessional, but it is generally assumed that men who answer God’s calling possess the necessary wisdom to offer guidance to troubled souls. It’s also reasonable to assume that their discretion is absolute.’ She ground her jaw. ‘Unfortunately, in my father’s case, that would be a grave error of judgement.’
The corners of Luke’s mouth twitched. ‘Evidently.’
‘I shall of course inform my father that I intend to give notice.’
‘You will do no such thing! My grandmother depends upon you.’ He lowered his voice and examined the pattern on the rug beneath his feet. ‘As do I.’
‘My father will make good on his threat if he does not get his way. Never doubt it. Don’t depend upon his better nature since as this letter shows, he does not possess one.’
‘Paul tells me you will soon attain your majority.’
She nodded. ‘In less than four weeks, after which Papa will have no authority over me. I cannot think why he is so determined for me to return to Salisbury. He doesn’t even like me very much, and never approves of anything I do.’
Luke sent her an unreadable look. ‘Then the man is a blind fool!’
‘He wants me to marry his curate, as you are aware. I do not like Mr Bolton, and have made it clear to him that his advances are unwelcome. And yet right until the moment I left to come here, he continued to shower me with attention.’ She shook her head. ‘I cannot make it out at all. If Mr Bolton wants to advance his own career by allying himself with my family, my next sister Pamela would more than welcome a declaration from him. She told me several times that I was out of my senses to reject him. And Pamela is more devout and obliging than I will ever be, which would make her a far more biddable wife.’
‘Men always want what they cannot have.’ Luke sighed. ‘Take it from one who knows.’
‘Well, if you will not accept my resignation, what are we to do about this?’
‘What indeed?’
‘First and foremost, we cannot permit my father to bully you, or to destroy your reputation. Apart from anything else, there is Mary’s future to consider.’
Luke smiled at her, and the grip of winter left his eyes. ‘You despise the thought of returning to your family, but you immediately offered to do so when you saw that mine was under threat. Paul said it would be that way. You are truly a good person, Flora.’
She gave a little laugh and waved the compliment aside. ‘My father would give you an argument on that score.’
‘We have already established that your father is a bigot, a bully and a fool. I also suspect that his sudden desire to have you back relates to your looming independence. I just wish I knew why.’
‘I had reached the same conclusion, but don’t have the first idea either. Will you tell me what lies at the heart of his threat against you?’ she asked softly, after a brief pause. ‘I have proved to you, I think, that I at least fully understand the meaning of discretion.’
He fixed her with a penetrating look. ‘I don’t want you to think badly of me.’
She met his gaze and held it, and time appeared to stand still. ‘That will never happen. You cannot be held to account for the sins of your father, any more than I can be tarred by my own father’s disgraceful conduct.’
Luke did not respond immediately, and Flora left him to contemplate without attempting to influence his decision. But she had already made up her mind. If he did not trust her sufficiently to tell her the truth, then she would leave here. Now. Immediately. Today. Without giving notice. It would break her heart, but very likely secure the future of the family whose warmth and kindness had restored her jaded spirit over the past few months. She might very well do that anyway if she thought there was no other way, but she badly needed Luke to trust her so that she could make a decision that was based on all the facts.
‘My mother and father drowned when the steamship they took to America went down mid-Atlantic.’ Flora nodded, already aware of the facts as told to her by the countess. ‘What you will not know is that they were not visiting America just to oversee the family property there.’ He paused. ‘They were leaving to avoid a scandal.’
She leaned forward impulsively and touched his hand. ‘What happened?’ she asked, sensing the pain searing through his skin.
‘The details to this day are sketchy, and I only know what Father told me before they left and what I subsequently pieced together. When he died it no longer seemed to matter, and I tried to put it behind me. The truth had died with him. However, there was a dispute over a debt of honour. Another gentleman loudly proclaimed that Father had incurred substantial debts in a private game and had not paid them.’
‘That would be enough to ruin the family,’ Flora agreed, nodding emphatically. ‘Was he a gamester?’
‘Yes, but he was usually successful.’
‘You, I suspect, have the intelligence to realise that a gambler’s luck always runs out eventually, which is why you seldom indulge.’
‘You are very perceptive.’ He took her hand and briefly squeezed her fingers before releasing it again.
‘Were there not signed vowels to enforce the debt?’
