Page 12 of Lady Audacious
Oh, the wretched man! Why was he objecting to a match that would suit them both in a hundred different ways? She loved Reuben with a fierce passion and wasn’t about to admit defeat, graciously or otherwise. He must be made to see reason.
But how?
The sound of an approaching footman caused Sarah to scurry off to her chamber before she was discovered listening to a private conversation. She flung herself onto her bed as soon as she reached her destination and cried out in exasperation.
‘What is it?’ Nelly, the distant poor relation who acted as her maid, asked. ‘You’re upset. Take some deep breaths and regain your composure before you have a turn. You know how you can get. Whatever’s happened it’s not worth getting into a state about.’
‘That’s easy for you to say.’ Sarah replied, her mortification increasing with every word she spoke as she explained what had just occurred.
‘It’s as I thought. You’re getting worked up over nothing,’ Nelly said.
‘Nothing, you say? Argh! He thinks of me as a sister. It doesn’t get much more humiliating than that. After all the efforts I have made to…’
‘He adores his sisters.’
‘He adores that wretched dog of his as well. He showers it with a great deal more attention than he ever shows me.’ Sarah threw up her hands. ‘I should have prevented the countess from interfering. Things will be awkward between us now.’
‘You were despairing anyway, simply because he hadn’t shown any signs of reciprocating your feelings, even though you were loath to make the admission.’
‘True, I suppose, but it will be even harder for me to impress him now. Every time I speak to him, he will know what I am attempting to do.’
Nelly tutted. ‘You have all the weapons at your disposal to change his mind. He will look at you differently now that he knows what his mother has in mind, that much is undeniable, but he will eventually see that she’s in the right of it. You just have to make sure that he enjoys what he sees when he looks at you in a new light, and then ignore him.’
Sarah rolled her eyes. ‘If you have no sensible suggestions to make…’
‘Think about it,’ Nelly said, taking Sarah’s hair down and giving it a vigorous brush. ‘He adores his mother and almost always obliges her. He knows he has to marry at some point and there is absolutely no reason why he shouldn’t choose you, if only through expedience or to please his mother. Everyone knows that gentlemen bore easily of the marriage mart.’
‘So, I’m a convenience?’
‘You want him, so take him any way you can get him.’ She placed the hairbrush down and grinned at Sarah. ‘Now then, what shall you wear to dinner to show yourself to your best effect so that you can ignore the disobliging earl?’
Chapter Four
Despite being exhausted after her long and adventurous day, Odile thought she would have trouble sleeping alone in a derelict house where every unfamiliar creak, every rattle of a loose window or unaccounted for noise was bound to unsettle her. Being accustomed to life in a busy school, she had never been completely alone in all of her time there, not even during the holidays. Nor had she ever been her own mistress before.
Her situation was daunting, and felt somewhat unreal, yet it was a challenge she’d been ready to face for longer than she realised.
New beginnings.
An opportunity to prove something to herself and find answers to questions that had plagued her since the accident that had robbed her of her parents, her memory, her self-identity and everything else but her dignity. A past life before Miss Mackenzie that she remembered absolutely nothing about, but for the occasional flash of recognition at random moments that dissipated like early morning mist over water. Miss Mackenzie had been impressed by her level of knowledge when she joined her school as a ten-year-old. Her grasp of subjects considered too advanced for a child of her age did little to recommend her to her peers, suggesting that she had come from a well-to-do family that had been able to provide her with an education to feed her hungry mind.
And yet no one had claimed her.
It was an oddity, a situation in which it was impossible for her not to imagine someone, somewhere being glad to see the back of her. Perhaps she had stood in the path of that person’s ambitions, and he or she had used her loss of memory as an opportunity to disown her.
She had long ago managed to convince herself that she would get to the truth in good time, inventing histories for herself that helped her to withstand the snide comments directed her way by her fellow pupils. Odile developed a strong sense of independence and self-sufficiency, and didn’t allow their jeers to affect her—at least not outwardly. Being different, more intelligent and self-contained than her classmates stood her in good stead. She learned to depend upon her own company, daydreaming about the time when a man of substance would come to claim her as his long-lost relative.
‘I have turned London upside down looking for you, dearest Odile,’ he would say. ‘At last we are reunited and you shall have everything that your heart desires.’
Except that she never would, the adult Odile had accepted. The one thing she did know for a certainty about her past was that her mother and father were dead, and it was their love that she desired more than anything else. But despite that, holding on to hope of being claimed by a distraught family was a conviction that had carried her through some of the darkest hours of her childhood. And now at last, her unexpected windfall had changed her life and taken her one step closer to finding some answers.
She lay cocooned in blankets on the truckle bed in front of the range and watched the shadows dancing over the cracked ceiling, wondering if she had taken on more than she could manage. Her heart and mind were filled with self-doubt. What did she know about country living, or living alone for that matter? She had never been in charge of servants before. The ones she employed would no doubt take advantage of her youth and inexperience, run rings around her and make her look foolish. No one took an unmarried female of her tender years seriously, she knew that much, and yet the alternative—returning to Miss Mackenzie with her tail between her legs—was unthinkable.
If she went back, the whole of the rest of her life would be mapped out for her. She wouldn’t find the strength to break away from the mind-numbing security of the familiar routine in which she felt safe yet grossly unfulfilled for a second time. She would spend her future teaching recalcitrant girls who had nothing more taxing on their minds than making good marriages. It was simply too depressing to contemplate, but it did at least have the desired effect in that it strengthened her resolve.
She could do this. She would take the opportunity that had fallen into her lap and make the best she could of it. She had wanted adventure, and she now had it in abundance. The added possibility of finding answers, of filling the gaps in her memory and discovering who she actually was, chased away any lingering doubts. Whoever had left her this house and such a large sum of money to run it must presumably know something about her history. Had a guilty conscience created this chance for her?
It was impossible for her to reach a conclusion.
