Page 100 of Play the Game
Tears blur my eyes and spill over as I flip pages, too absorbed to care that I am absolutely decimating Cooper’s privacy right now.
A list of girl names.
Research on strollers.
Pictures from my ultrasounds with detailed descriptions of what Cooper was feeling at each one.
His bagel recipe.
My definitive list of the best cherry seltzers, ranked by flavor intensity and carbonation level.
Lists of my favorite snacks and the random foods I’ve suddenly decided I can’t live without over the past thirty weeks.
A list of his favorite places in Boston for us to visit as a family when the baby is born.
Little stories from his childhood he wants the baby to know.
Funny things his brothers did.
Him realizing he never really hated me at all.
The notebook is almost full, the first entry dated back in October, the day I told him I was pregnant, and one from almost every day since. His thoughts. His feelings. His hopes. His dreams. Our story. It’s unexpected and unconventional, but somehow, it works.
It’s us.
I’m holding his heart in my hands, and I’m written all over it.
The baby kicks and I put a hand on my belly, closing my eyes and letting the feelings wash over me.
“We’re the luckiest,” I whisper, feeling only slightly ridiculous for talking to my stomach. “Your dad is the best person in the world, and we get to be loved by him.”
“I’m the lucky one.”
I open my eyes to see Cooper standing in the doorway to the living room, low slung plaid pajama pants, a gray T-shirt, and his glasses, his eyes swimming with a mix of tenderness and intensity that has my heart doing a slow roll. Striding to the couch, Cooper pulls me up and wraps an arm around my waist, tugging me to him and putting his other hand on my cheek.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “I thought it was my notebook, and then I opened it and, well, it all kind of spiraled from there.”
Cooper shakes his head, leaning in to kiss my forehead, lingering there the way he does. “Don’t be. It’s for you. You and the baby. Me too. I didn’t want us to forget anything about this time, so I wrote it all down. This may have been unexpected, but that doesn’t make it any less right. We’re exactly where we need to be.”
“All this time,” I say, with a little wonder. “You were so sure we were going to get our shit together and figure out how to make this work.”
Cooper smiles, pushing my hair behind my ear. “I was. I was just waiting for you to catch up.”
“Sorry I took so long. This whole thing has been…a lot for me. Still is, if I’m being honest. But maybe less so now.”
Leaning in, Cooper kisses me. It’s light and sweet and full of promise, and I sink into it, wanting to live in this moment for as long as I can, with the love pouring out of him and his strong arms around me and my heart beating out a rhythm that sounds like home.
Cooper is home.
“Don’t be sorry, Rhodes,” he murmurs against my lips. “You’re here now and so am I, and everything worked out exactly the way it was supposed to.”
“You think?” I ask, easing back to look him in the eyes.
“Did you tell me you love me, like, half an hour ago?”
Smiling, I lean in and kiss him again. “I did.”
“Well, I love you too. You’re standing barefoot in my living room wearing my shirt and I’m pretty sure you’re naked under it.Your hair is all tangled from my hands, and I’m about to make you breakfast before I carry you back to bed and keep you there for the rest of the day, showing you, over and over again, how much I love you. I think things worked out just fine.”
