Page 16 of Lessons in Forgiving
A hint of citrus and pinewood I’d come to know as Henry’s cologne lingered among the smell of rain from last night. The sky looked like it might again today—so dark and stormy, I was glad to spot Henry’s car in the lot behind the soccer field.
“Not even the tiniest bit, Paula. When you’re confused, you scrunch your nose and it’s basically scrunched for however long we study for. When you’re frustrated, there’s this sound you make. Something between a huff and a groan and a sigh, and I’ve heard you make it so many times, I dream of it sometimes.”
I didn’t know why that confession brought heat to my cheeks. Or why I couldn’t keep my lips from pulling up.
I was smiling, I think. At the floor. Looking anywhere but him, because God forbid he found out I’d dreamed about the sounds he might make, too.
“You were confused and frustrated, and you’re not used to that. So if anything, I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did.” Henry shrugged, unlocked his car and held the passenger door open before he’d even asked if he should give me a ride home. I got in with a glare, finally looking at him.
“I dare you to call me too dumb for your major again, Henry Parker Pressley,” I muttered when he got behind the wheel,trying hard to keep my amusement at bay, and hoping it wasn’t audible in my tone at all.
But Henry and I both knew my accusation wasn’t at all what he’d said. Really, he hit the nail on the head. Read me like he’d known me for years.
“Or what?” he asked.
I snorted, finally breaking the facade when I could tell we were way past the point of believing it was real. I wasn’t mad at his accusation, and he wasn’t trying to find out what I might do to him if I were.
Still, I said, “Or I might just change back to business admin specifically to ruin your life.”
He shook his head. “You couldn’t ruin my life, even if you wanted to.”
“I’ll egg your apartment. Your car.” I thought for a moment. “I’ll eggyou.”
His head finally rolled in my direction, hair wet from the quick shower after the game. Our gazes held for one, two, three seconds, and I think I might’ve been holding my breath. “You’re vegan.”
My eyes narrowed. “You might just be worth breaking my morals for.”
His nose scrunched in a smile, then the hint of a chuckle filled his car before he said, between one laugh and the next, “Charming, Paula. You’re a charm.”
CHAPTER 7
NOW
I can’t do a profile.
Not on him.
“It’s a pretty good deal, Paula. Great for your extra-curricular project. Even better if you still plan on going into sports journalism after graduation. I heard you’re into soccer, anyway? The thing is practically made for you.”
Eddie had been trying to rationalize my sternNos away for a while now. I’d taken up pacing like a mad woman in front of the park bench he still sat on.
I shook my head before it fell back again. I continued pacing, eyes on the sky. “I can’t.” And I didn’t care how pathetic it sounded. “You know I can’t.” My gaze slid to him, pity meeting me in his.
Lately, it seemed that’s all I found in anyone’s.
I wondered whether that’s what I’d see once I told my parents about this mess. That I’d thrown away their dream for me, then ruined my own because of a man, of all things.
“Look,” Eddie said tentatively, getting up. “I know you guys have history. I know you don’t like to talk about what happened, and I honored that when I didn’t ask about his involvement with what happened with your last article.”
The one that had messed it all up. Me and Henry. Me and thePost.
Standing opposite me, Eddie’s hands were on my shoulders, and I wasn’t sure if he was going for reassuring or intimidating. I wasn’t sure if he knew, either. “But I need you on this, Paula. There’s no way around it.”
My head shook again, kind of like a little kid who was about to throw a tantrum. “It’s this or nothing.”
The words settled in while the smile on Eddie’s lips fell. His hands dropped from my shoulders. “And since I can’t,and won’t, allow the latter, you’re going to have to do this.” His already small lips thinned into a straight line. “I wish there was another way. I really do.”
That sentiment seemed genuine. Like he wanted someone else on this as desperately as I did.
