Page 11 of Lessons in Falling
Of walking?Alfie asked, amused.Or drinking until we don’t know our own names anymore?
Both,we said in unison.Iris nodded so grandly, she immediately stopped short, both hands coming up to her mouth.I’d been surprised she hadn’t thrown up on the way here—the quick motion must’ve finally done it for her.Definitely both,she confirmed.I’m gonna have to sit, guys.The only thing that can save me now is a scoop of lemon ice cream.
Behind us, Anni gave a sound of approval.Last one at Charlie’s is a lazy egg!She started running, barely made it past us, and stopped.Which must’ve been around the sametime she remembered that she was hungover, too.Okay, no.Never mind.Forget I said anything.
She means rotten egg, right?Alfie whispered conspiratorially, both of us still focusing on Anni, and the way she held her throbbing head, regret written all over her face.That’s how the saying goes?Last one there’s a rotten egg?He seemed like he might not actually be sure.
Oh, shut up, Alfie.The blonde threw an amused glare over her shoulder despite the headache.It’s the same in German, alright?Lazy and rotten both meanfaul.Come on, repeat after me.F-a-u-l.
All of us muttered some variation ofHere we go, rolling our eyes and laughing and giving Annithatlook as we walked into Isleton.
It’s the one thing she loved teasing us about: that she spoke a second language, while we felt lucky to know one well enough to communicate with each other.
Okay, we get it—you speak two languages, oh-superior being that you are.Why don’t you try running to Charlie’s again?Last one there’s afaulegg, right?Alfie shot back, to which Anni simply held up her middle finger.They both laughed.A cackle that felt so synchronized, I wasn’t quite sure which belonged to whom as he skipped a few steps over to walk beside her.
Then regretted his skipping in a wave of nausea.
It was hard to explain, sometimes, that my friends’ bickering felt more like home than my childhood bedroom.That I could probably discern the pattern of their footsteps from that of a thousand others; that their laughter mixing with the touristy bustle of the boardwalk was more familiar than the tone of mymother’s voice.That the way Iris locked her arm with mine was the most normal thing in the world, and that I’d probably die without it.
I have a confession to make,she said bluntly, the way she did anything, and half of her weight rested on me as we continued walking, a few feet behind the rest.I feel awful.And I can’t go another second without telling you.Don’t be mad at me,she prefaced.
Immediately, I was on high alert.Because of what my best friend was about to tell me, sure.More so, because it immediately reminded me of my own confession—that I should feel awful, and that I shouldn’t be able to go another second without telling her about Caden, either.
My eyes flicked to him, walking ahead, when I snickered,What did you do?
Promise you won’t be mad,she repeated, lifted her head from my shoulder to narrow her gaze at me.Swear it.
My eyes rolled, and I crossed my fingers in the air with a laugh.It took a lot to keep up the playful act when I honestly felt a little sick by now.I hated lying to begin with; doing it to my friends felt objectively worse.Like treason.I swear I will not be mad at you.Now what did you do?
One word was enough.She winced even before she said,Jason.
The smile on my face fell, my eyes narrowed, and at least I didn’t have to fake any more emotions.It couldn’t get more honest than this:Iris—I began, disappointment, annoyance, disbelief in my tone.
In defense, she whisper-shouted,You promised not to be mad!
Scum-of-the-earth-Jason, as we’d affectionately nicknamed him, had given Iris the world, then, on a random Saturday night, told her he wasn’t ready for a relationship, wasn’t ready to be a boyfriend—when he’d been boyfriend-ing for a whole two months beforehand.To make matters worse, he’d gotten into a relationship two weeks later.
Knowing Athalia Pressley had slashed his tires after they’d broken up years ago should’ve been enough reason for Iris to stay away from the guy.But alas.
That had been four months ago, on the day I should’ve told my friends about Caden.Iris’ heartbreak took priority over my sex life, though, which was why I’d kept my mouth shut.For a little too long.
We’ve just been talking,she confessed.He texted me a few days after they broke up.Apologized, asked if we could see each other—
To which you should’ve said,fuck you.I thought you blocked him!I cried.
She gave me an apologetic smile, pearly teeth and gap between them on full display.I did not.I’m sorry!
I sighed.In defeat and acceptance, I think.And now what?
Iris shook her head.Nothing,she shrugged.Going in with no expectations.We’ve been texting, that’s all.Although it’s been a little quiet since we left campus.But that makes sense—she hesitated.Right?
I kept from rolling my eyes and agreed, only not to make her feel worse.Sure.
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier!she repeated.I just wanted to see what he wanted before you steal my phone, blockhim and delete his number for good.Otherwise I would’ve told you right away.The urge was very strong.
And there it was again: guilt.Running from the tip of my toes to the top of my head, heating my blood and making me blush with… shame, probably.
Tell her, tell her, tell her.
