Page 19 of Lessons in Falling
I want you, maybe.I need you on a level I didn’t know was possible.
Whenever I got a free minute,she began, and tucked a loose strand behind her ear.Then shook her head, and started over.When I was younger, and I managed to get a free minute, I used to climb onto our roof and just… sit there.I looked up, and there was this whole world around us I couldn’t explain.An entire world that seemed so quiet and calm and beautiful.I guess it felt like somewhere to escape to?Eventually, I found a used stargazing guide in the bookshop, and the guy behind the counter gave it to me for free.I would’ve paid him, if I could have.Really!I feltsobad—
Why were free minutes so rare?What kept you so busy as a child?Why couldn’t you pay him?
Escape from what?
It felt like crossing a whole bunch of boundaries to get answers to my questions, so I settled on,So now you’re a professional on constellations?
She laughed again, this time at me.And I thought I might play dumb for the rest of my life if it amused her.I couldn’t help it.
I’m not about to go through two excruciating years of a graduate program for nothing,she snickered.A yawn rattled through her before she extended her hand to me and said,Geo and Space Physics.Nice to meet you,like she was introducing herself.
Her handshake didn’t feel very strong, and her eyes continued falling shut every few seconds.I wasn’t sure if she’d remember howniceit was to meet me tomorrow.For now, I’d take advantage of it, though.
Computer Engineering.Pleasure to meet you, Geo and Space Physics.
Valentina giggled, wearily drew back her hand and placed it under her head.Her eyes were closed, but she was still facing me.Graduate degree?she asked.
Yes, ma’am.
Her lips twitched again.She yawned again.At HBU?
Yeah.
So even after this whole mess, I won’t be rid of you?You’ll follow me all the way back to school?She barely managed to get the words out before her breaths evened out.Her eyes stayed closed, and she snuggled deeper into the blanket.
Valentina was asleep, and perhaps that’s why I shamelessly said,And I’m not sorry about it.
CHAPTER 9
VALENTINA
I didn’t know Valentina drools in her sleep.
I did.
It took me a second to interpret my surroundings: the noise (seagulls fighting, waves rolling against the beach, someone saying I drool), but more so the fact that I was looking at a blue sky, not the white ceiling, and my three best friends were hovering over me like I’d just awoken from a year-long coma.The concern in their features was missing, though, and they wore matching, wide grins on their lips.You could see the gap between Iris’ teeth, which was never a good sign.
I stretched my limbs in every possible direction, my arm almost took out Alfie, I think, before I mumbled, gruffly,What the fuck?
Pieces of the puzzle came together slowly.My bucket list.Sleeping outside.A beautiful night sky—
Good morning, sleepyheads.And Alfie’s conspiratorial smile, paired with the plural form he’d just used finally brought the rest of my memories back.
Yes, the bucket list.But also Cadenfindingthe bucket list.Sleeping outside, sure.But Caden insisting on sleeping outside with me.A perfect night sky, but Caden looking at me, instead.Caden studying Computer Engineering.Caden talking me to sleep.Caden, Caden, Caden.
Hadn’t this list been about me?Wasn’t the point to focus on myself?
And now they’d found us sleeping next to each other.On separate chairs, of course, but still.My eyes darted back to Iris, but judging by the fact that she was still giving me one of those toothy grins, she didn’t seem to suspect a thing, which kind of made it worse.
Maybe Ishouldstill tell her?I’d be a few days late, but at least I wouldn’t have to lie to my best friend anymore; as close as Iris and I were, omitting the fact that I’d slept with anyone—and never mind the fact that he washere—definitely counted as lying.Plus, nothing had happened between Caden and I since he’d become a part of this.Which meant, technically, she couldn’t even be all that mad.
The last time Caden slept this late,Mike began, interrupting my spiraling thoughts when I noticed him by his friend’s side.He tore a hamstring.That was three years ago.And I couldn’t tell whether Mike—his captain—was pleased about the development.
An unidentifiable sound came from somewhere below him, some shifting in the lounge chair beside me—and then a pillow flew right at Mike’s head.It messed up his blond hair and left the semblance of a red imprint on his cheek.Asshole!he muttered, with a smile on his face.
I’m not the asshole who sees his friend sleeping in for onceand decides to… wake him up?I didn’t like to admit it, but Caden did have a valid point.And it wasn’t just his deep, rough morning voice that convinced me.I promise.
