Page 38 of Lessons in Falling
Oh.I waved her off, then brought my hand from her shoulder to her hip.Nothing.I declined.
Her eyes widened.Then, her brows furrowed, disbelief written all over her face.What?
I replied to Pete’s email after he sent the offer over.Thank you, but no thank you.
You didn’t even call them back!Valentina cried.You said no to a six-figure salary in an email!Her confusion turned into full-on denial.You can’t have.
The smile on my lips wasn’t voluntary, but I couldn’t help it.Honestly, after my confession—the first time I’d talked to anyone about this—I’d expected not to smile for at least twenty-four hours.But here I was, suppressing a God damn giggle.
Two sentences, that’s it.I can show you—I was already grabbing my phone out of the pocket of my shorts, but Valentina pushed my hand back in.
As if to recap, she said,Two lines.Then, she nodded.Honestly, Caden, I kind of envy you.You don’t give a shit about anyone else, do you?
Take Alison out of the equation, and she might be right.It didn’t sound like an insult, and I wouldn’t have taken it as such either way.
Not more than about myself, no.
Valentina huffed, started walking back the way we came.I followed.I don’t remember the last time I did anything for myself,she blurted.
I tried to think of a time in the past two weeks in which she had.Said no to plans, suggested something else for dinneror simply disagreed with any of her friends.Nothing came to mind.Even when they’d asked her if she was fine sharing a room with me, she’d lied and said yes.
Hence the list,I figured, same as she had earlier.
Hence the list.
We let the silence between us linger for a while.Steps matching against the road, listening to the constant, high-pitched hum of the cicadas, the sound like a constant stream of electricity.From above, the full moon illuminated our surroundings surprisingly well.
Michael Jackson would be proud of us, fully moonwalking so well.
You have been quite disagreeable with me, though,I mentioned after a while, amusement in my tone.
Because I don’t want you to like me.She shrugged.Because my life would be a whole-lot easier if you didn’t, actually.
Would it?I held her by the arm, right before we’d round the last turn of the road and see the Summerhouse again.It was the same spot we’d stopped at on the way back from our run.The same spot where she’d kissed me, then told me it would change nothing.
Despite our constant bickering, I felt like something had.
Yes,she said, unapologetically.Because you’d just leave me alone, and I wouldn’t have to hold onto every bit of self-restraint to keep away from you.
We were close again, and something dropped to the pit of my stomach at her words—at her proximity, and the look in her eyes that told me she was fighting now, too.
My mouth dipped toward her ear.I’m sorry to disappoint,I whispered, voice strained.But I don’t think there’s anything you can do that would make me leave you alone.I can’t.It’s impossible, Val.
Her breath hitched.Why?
I shook my head, and my lips grazed her skin.Honest mistake, but neither of us seemed to mind.I certainly didn’t.I don’t know.I shrugged.What I do know, though,I began, and brought my face in front of hers again.You can’t live the one life you have always pleasing the people around you.Say no sometimes, Valentina.Then say yes other times.But only because you want to.Not your friends, not your—
Okay,she hurried.Yes.
And kissed me.
CHAPTER 20
VALENTINA
Caden Callahan was a walking reminder of my betrayal, living proof of how bad of a friend I was.Looking at him made my heart plummet to the pit of my stomach, that’s how guilty I felt.For breaking the NFR, yes.But even more so for lying to my friends, betraying Iris when she’d just been betrayed by some loser who didn’t deserve her anyway (again).
Maybe that’s what I was, as well.A loser who didn’t deserve her.
