Page 56 of Lessons in Falling
Have I pushed Finnick Maxwell off your summer-fling throne, then?
Without even having to put up a fight, I thought.But it felt mean, a little bit.Finnick had always been good to me, so I didn’t need to compare him with Caden, then voice that comparison out loud.
Still, I meant it when I said,Yes.Voice level and even.Like we were having a casual conversation about the weather, not how he—and his performance—held up against others.
Give me some credit, Val.he tutted.I thought an eleven out of ten would get a little more praise than that.
I could feel the blood rush into my cheeks, embarrassment taking over.My hands flew up, and I buried my face in them with a groan.I thought you were asleep,I muttered through my fingers.How much of that did you hear?
He huffed, slid back against the wall to make room on his bed, and patted the space on the mattress in front of him.What makes you think I wouldn’t wake up when someone jumps over me, cursing like a sailor?Come here,he added, a knowing look on his face.His head tilted, and I could do nothing about my feet starting to move.
Like I’d been hypnotized by his inviting voice and beautiful smile alone.Like I’d been under his spell for God knows how long.
I hit my head.I justified the cursing as I scooted in beside him, greeted by his warm body and familiar scent under the blanket.Sorry.I thought I was being discreet.
As discreet as a seven-thousand-pound elephant in the room,he agreed—or I guess didn’t.But he said it so sweetly, kissed my forehead so tenderly, one could assume he had.
Sorry,I said again, and if he wouldn’t have brought it up, I might just forget Alfie had ever been in this room.For thesake of my peace of mind, and for the sake ofthis.Being held and kissed and called sweet nicknames.Some selective amnesia was worth that, was it not?
Do you think he’ll tell them?His voice was soft, his fingers dancing up and down my arm.Goosebumps followed his touch like a trusted companion.And before I could answer, he added a much more important question:What’s the No-Fraternization thing he mentioned?
I froze, my back against his stomach went rigid.He noticed, of course, but his fingers continued caressing my skin.For a brief moment, I considered lying.Telling him the reason I’d wanted to stay away from him hadn’t been part of the plan.Letting him in enough to understand the ins and outs of my friends and our dynamic wasn’t part of it either.
But not a single bone in my body wanted to carry the burden of lying to Caden, too, and so I told him.
CHAPTER 27
CADEN
I almost didn’t ask.I’d almost let it be, forget Alfie was ever in the room, and never find out what the No-Fraternization-Rule was.It had clearly been what Valentina would’ve wanted, but I was glad I’d listened to my gut this time, because five weeks in, I’d given up on figuring out why Valentina was so strongly against the idea of us.
Yeah, she’d said it wasn’t me, and that her friends just wouldn’t approve, and that she wasn’t embarrassed—but no matter how robust my ego, these thoughts had still been flying around in my head regardless.
I’m sorry,she said, again.For the fiftieth time, probably.It’s stupid, I know.But Iris—
Hey, it’s not.She’d turned around to face me, and her nose had been buried in my chest the entire time she’d told me about the NFR.I mean,I snickered.It is a little bit.But I get it.You love Iris, and this is her… thing.You don’t want to disappoint her.I meant it, even if the disappointment was… me.
Valentina finally emerged out of the depth of my shirt, a vicious glare in her eyes that only made her look cuter.Honestly, it wasn’t all that vicious, to begin with.Her lips were twitching upward, and all her efforts were going into keeping them in a straight line.Unsuccessfully.
She finally gave up.It is her thing.Only that it being her thing made it our thing.
I can’t help that I’msogreat, you wanted to sleep with me from day one, while Iris wanted to be my friend.I didn’t know it would be a conflict of interest, otherwise I’d have been a little more rude to her.
You are unbearable,she sighed, rolling onto her back.
Am I?
No.Her head turned toward me, and our eyes connected again.Something plummeted to the pit of my stomach.I tried not to think about it further.
It was a known routine for me at this point.The smile on my lips, as always, was inevitable.
She sighed,Now what?like I could give her the answers to that.If it were up to me, the truth—our truth—would already be out in the open.If it were up to me, every minute we’d not spend on top of each other, at least her hand would be in mine.Friends around or not.
Despite knowing better, I suggested it.Alfie said you’re going to have to tell them eventually.The words that hung between us unspoken were,So you might as well just do it.
I can’t.She’ll hate me.Valentina took a deep breath.What if she leaves?
And I think that’s what her people-pleasing tendencies boiled down to.That she didn’t realize how fucking great shewas.That the people around her were around because theylikedher, not because she did things for them and said yes to anything they wanted.And that they wouldn’t just abandon her, because for once in her life, Valentina Rhodes made a decision for herself.
