Page 62 of Lessons in Falling
Never have I ever…Anni paused in thought.Ah, got it!Made out with my professor, then still failed his class.Very pointedly, she looked at Alfie, and, well… yes, he drank.After viciously glaring at her.
Come on,he snickered, taking the bottle from his mouth.We’ve all been there, right?
We broke into what must’ve been the one-hundredth fit of cackles and giggling of the night, and even Mike, still uncharacteristically quiet, suppressed a smile.
Iris looked around the room, assessing the people inside only for a second before saying,Never have I ever had sex in public—wait, no!she cried.Now I have to drink.With a pout, she brought the bottle to her mouth, took a sip, then groaned.I hate this game.
My eyes locked with Caden’s, although I’d tried so hard not to look at him all night—scared that my need for him would be written all over my face.In the span of ten seconds, we’d had an entire silent conversation.
Does yesterday count?
Technically, no one saw us.
Someone could’ve seen us, though.
But they did not.
In the end, Caden won and gestured for a bottle, which Iris passed to him.She didn’t seem surprised when he drank, but once I tipped my head back, bottle by my lips, she gasped.
Or screeched.Or outright screamed?With Iris, you could never tell.
Valentina!she shrieked.When?How?What?Her headflew in Alfie’s direction, then Anni’s.What?!she repeated.How do we not know anything about this?
Well, funny you should ask.It only happened yesterday.With a guy currently in this room.A guy you wouldn’t want to see me with.
Pretty recently,I cleared my throat, then decided to take another sip, because today was national flawed-logic day, apparently.I don’t know.
Unbelievable,Anni commented, shaking her head in fake disappointment.Are we even friends anymore?Thank God her amused grin gave her irony away.
Come on, then,Iris urged.Spill.
I don’t know—I hadn’t meant to look at Caden again, but this time my friends’ gazes followed mine.
Don’t worry about Callahan, he can take some of the dirty details.Can’t you?She asked, but didn’t wait for a reply.By the smirk on his lips, though, it seemed Caden was just dying to hear about his performance.He won’t judge you.He’s part of this now, and I’ll cut his balls off if he does.
Laughter around the room again, but all I’d heard was,He’s part of this now.
Part of our group.One of our friends.Equal to all of us, included in the NFR.My thoughts began spiraling, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
Liar, liar, liar.How could you do this?She’s going to find out, and she’ll leave, and she’ll take Alfie and Anni and Mike with her.You’ll be by yourself again—because no matter how much effort you put into your friendships, no matter how many parts of yourself you’re losing along the way, it’ll never be enough.You’ll never be enough.
Caden tried to intervene, and I appreciated the effort.I really don’t need to know what my bunkmate’s been up to, Iris.Don’t put those images in my head.
Iris threw her head back with a cackle, and once again I cursed Caden for his effortless charm and ability to make people laugh.My best friend shook her head, still smiling.You’re too nice.It’s the puppy eyes, isn’t it?She’s used them on you?
I’m a victim,he agreed, not looking away from me.
Aren’t we all?Iris sighed before blowing me a kiss.Who’s next?
For the past ten rounds, we’d skipped Mike beside me.Never have I ever,he said now, eyes on Caden.Glaring, vigorously and unrelentingly.The easy smile on Caden’s lips fell, like he knew the entire evening was about to change.Like he could sense it, somehow.
He was right.
Never have I ever,Mike repeated.Wanted to quit soccer to work for Anova.
Out of instinct—because all our questions had been at least a little funny—Iris laughed, then immediately shut up when something in the air shifted.I think we all felt it; something falling off its axis, disturbing our carefully maintained equilibrium.
What?Alfie whispered, confused, at no one in particular.I think neither Mike nor Caden heard him.For both of them, the situation was clear as day; the looks they exchanged said as much.
