Page 71 of Lessons in Falling
From all possible directions, complaints flew my way.Demonstratively, I shook my head.Don’t even start,I snickered loudly.Youguys insisted on doing the entire list with me.
Alfie, still slumped forward, hands on his knees, was wheezing.We could’ve skipped the run.
Weshould’veskipped the run,Iris agreed.She hadn’t even made it to the bench; just collapsed onto the dusty ground, where she’d stayed.
The only thing keeping me from suffering as much as they had, was my own amusement.I couldn’t miss this moment of victory because I was so exhausted that my legs were about to give in.Priorities.
I’ve killed your friends,Caden noted from behind me, amusement in his tone.A second later, his arms wrapped around me, and his chin rested on top of my head.He kissed my hair once, quickly, and none of my friends even batted an eye at it.
Less than a week ago, I thought they’d go into cardiac arrest.I thought I’d be kicked off this island, never to be allowed back, thanks to the pull Alfie’s family had.
But nothing.
Just Caden, touching me sweetly—for once, appropriately—and my friends, still glaring, and swearing and breathing very heavily, like he wasn’t even there.I’ll need at least half an hour to recover!Alfie muttered, and the rest agreed enthusiastically before he threw himself onto the bench, taking up the entire thing.
I think you might have,I agreed with Caden, laughed and turned in his grip until his blue eyes connected with mine, and I could see the corners of his lips turn upward.I thought the worst you could do was drive them away from me.But you just killed them straight away.
He shrugged.I’m efficient like that.
I hummed as I swallowed another laugh.I think he knew exactly where my eyes went, even without turning to follow my gaze.I watched Mike a few feet away, doing burpees, for some reason.How’d you get him to join without plotting to kill you?
In the past week, they’d still kept their distance.When Caden entered a room, Mike left it.When Mike suggested doing something, Caden knew better than to give his opinion.It was like watching two twelve-year-olds’ petty fighting, onlythat they were stuck in the—very well trained—bodies of two mid-twenties guys.
Like I’d guessed, Caden knew exactly who I was talking about.Oh.He waved me off.We hashed things out.
My gaze snapped back to his, eyes narrowing.When?!
Because I hadn’t noticed any hashing out, only petty behavior from both of them.
This morning.And he couldn’t help his laugh, probably because my face told him I didn’t believe a word he said.I kind of had to, though—Mike was here, wasn’t he?And not as a favor to Anni.He offered me my spot back.As team captain.
His words hung between us, breeze ringing in my ears.Last week, right before we’d made up, Caden had accepted the Anova offer in Boston.When he’d told me, there’d been tears in my eyes, and I think there might have been a single one in his—not that he’d ever admit to that.But it had been a big deal, deciding against what he thought Alison would’ve wanted.Taking a step toward his own happiness, and putting himself first, for real this time.
Abandoning the soccer team, and letting Coach Hepburn know that he wasn’t coming back.He made me promise not to tell anyone, but he’d asked me to hold his hand throughout that call.After he’d hung up, he’d kissed each of my fingers, and muttered thank-yous into my skin, until—unsurprisingly—we’d ended up naked.
In the past week, we’d been boyfriend-girlfriend-ing a little too close to the sun; and sometimes I’d forget we weren’t.He wasn’t my boyfriend, and I wasn’t his girlfriend.
And?I asked, trying to get away from my spiraling thoughts, hoping to lead them somewhere other than thestatus of our relationship.So, back to soccer, and Mike, and that captain thing.What did you say?
My heart hammering loudly in my chest hoped it wasno.
I thought about it,he admitted, then slowly walked us closer to the edge of the cliff, presumably to get some privacy.Below us, waves crashed against the sharp edges of stone protruding out of the water.Loud and rough and unapologetically cruel to whatever got caught in them.Reallythought about it, you know?
Like you haven’t really thought about it for the past three months?I tried to sound amused, but the attempt fell flat.
There was no need to pretend I didn’t care about whether he did or didn’t go back.He knew I wanted him to take the job almost as much as I knew it.
Well,he shrugged.You’d be at HBU now,he said.That’s a plus I didn’t need to consider before.
Caden—I warned, but he held up his hand, effectively cutting me off.
I know, I know.I was supposed to make this decision for myself.Because if Caden Callahan—self-proclaimedmost selfish asshole in the world—wasn’t putting himself first, how could I be expected to?Me, Valentina-has-never-once-made-a-decision-for-herself-and-doesn’t-even-know-what-being-selfish-feels-like-Rhodes.But you can’t expect me to not at least consider it, Val.
I pouted.It was so sweet, I couldn’t be mad.Still, I whispered,I hope that’s all you did.Considered.
His lips quirked.He let my words hang between us, and I think it was deliberate, the way he made me wait.The way he was letting my anticipation build, almost until my patiencesnapped in two.Another minute, and I might’ve slapped him whether he went back to HBU or not.Don’t worry, I’m still employed,he finally said.
My entire body sagged in relief.If Caden could do it, I could, too.
