Page 20 of Degradation
‘I don’t think I need bandages,’ I say.
My voice comes out utterly tonelessly and I falter as he looks up, scrambling internally to appearnormal.
‘Why don’t you let me be the judge of that, huh? I’ve dealt with my fair share of my own injuries, and the other guys’ in the frat. I feel like the house nurse most days anyway.’
He smiles but then frowns a little when I don’t. Was I supposed to? I didn’t catch whatever it was. I think about what he just said, but I’m not sure.
‘I’m sorry if I missed something,’ I whisper, my eyes following the lines of the bedspread. ‘I can’t really...be… I’m just… I’m very tired.’
‘Tulip,’ he whispers. ‘Don’t say sorry for something like that. Please. You never have to apologize for being you. You’re enough. You’re always enough. All the other stuff doesn’t matter. Not really.’
Perhaps tomorrow his sentiments will make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but for now I just nod and close my eyes.
He’s putting something on the cuts on my legs and hands. It feels greasy and I’m not sure I like the sensation at all, but I let him do it. I can’t feel much worse anyway.
He wraps my foot as carefully as he can, and I try not to let the pain of the movements show on my face. He puts an ice pack on the swollen part when he’s finished, murmuring that he’ll take it off in fifteen minutes or so as he slides a pillow under my leg to elevate it a little.
‘How did you know where I was?’ I ask, trying to take my mind off the sudden cold on my ankle that hurts almost as bad as the injury itself. ‘Was it the cameras?’
He doesn’t answer for a moment, but his face is grim, and I wonder if he keeps thinking about what happened in the games room, too.
‘Luck. I was looking for you,’ he says finally. ‘What were you doing in there with them?’
I frown, a feeling I don’t like worming its way through me because he must instinctively know that what happened was my fault, just as Travis did. Everyone must know.
‘I was trying to find you,’ I say very quietly, hoping he doesn’t think I’m trying to shift the blame to him.
‘Me, or all of us?’
Closing my eyes, I can’t help my scoff. ‘Just you, I think.’
I feel him putting the greasy stuff on my face, a lone finger dabbing my lip where it’s cut.
‘I think it’s important that you know,’ he begins. ‘The others weren’t with Laurie and Jolie.’
I glance at him and then away quickly as he continues.
‘Blake told Jolie to get lost and Shade?—’
I wriggle away from his touch. ‘I know you’re close, but please... I’d rather you didn’t lie to me. Just say nothing. I heard about Shade from Laurie directly. I saw.’
‘Listen to me, Daisy. Don’t say anything for a minute, please.’
He places his hand on mine and squeezes it gently. I let him, finding that it’s oddly comforting when it’s him.
‘Blake and Shade were both with me for most of the night. Blake didn’t go anywhere with Jolie. He hasn’t done anything with her, or any other girl, in weeks. As for Shade,’ Mav snorts, ‘he thinks Laurie is nuts. Sheisnuts.’
‘That doesn’t mean anything,’ I whisper, ‘and why do I care about what her and Shade do anyway?’
He gives me a look I don’t understand. ‘You seem to care a lot, so why don’t you tell me?’
‘Doesn’t matter,’ I say.
‘It does,’ he insists. ‘I’ve never seen Shade act the way he does with you. You may not be able to see it, but he cares about you, and if you don’t believe me, believe that robe you have on. He doesn’t let anyone else even touch it, let alone wear it.’
‘The dressing gown? I like it,’ I murmur, running my hand down it. ‘It’s warm. Soft. Why is it so special to him?’
‘His mom gave it to him. Your mom, I mean. For Christmas last year.’
