Page 23 of Degradation
‘Sorry,’ he mumbles. ‘I didn’t mean to scare you, but what do you mean? How could it have been your fault, Daisy?’
‘The way I was dressed, for one,’ I say, clenching my eyes shut.
‘No,’ he says. ‘That isn’t?—’
‘Yes,’ I insist.
I chance a quick look up and find him staring at me, his expression twisted in anger.
‘After I ran, when I was in Lu’s dorm. There were a couple of guys I know. I was waiting for Lu with them. Travis said I brought it on myself. That I only had myself to blame, dressed how I was.’
‘Daisy,’ he begins, but I shake my head.
‘The officers thought so too,’ I whisper, and it suddenly occurs to me what this horrible feeling is that’s been twisting through me.
I hang my head and get to the crux of the matter. ‘When Marcus and the others surrounded me, I was scared, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’tdoanything. I didn’t run away. Maybe they thought... I’m so ashamed.’
Blake’s hands cup my face, raising it up to his. His soft touch is at odds with how angry he seems to be. He sees the tear-filled eyes that I’m trying to hide, and his grip on me tightens just a little.
‘It wasnotyour fault,’ he says slowly but vehemently, eyes staring into mine until I have to move them away. ‘Not even a little bit. You weren’t dressed differently than the other girls at the party, Daisy, no different than they’re dressed foreveryparty. You weren’t acting different. You weren’t even drinking until Marcus literally poured that alcohol down your throat and made you swallow it. It was nothing you did or didn’t do. I promise you. Marcus saw an opportunity to hurt you and us, and he took it. That’s it. He’s an asshole and he’s going to get what’s coming to him.’
I cringe. ‘You saw...what they did?’
‘On the cams afterward, yes.’
I close my eyes, hating that it was all caught on tape. ‘Did anyone else?’
‘Only Mav and Shade,’ he says quietly and there’s something in his voice that I haven’t heard before.
I don’t know what it is.
‘Can you help me get up, please?’ I ask.
He nods and steps back, holding out his arm for me to take. He stays still as I pull myself up to standing with one foot planted firmly on the floor and the other hovering on my toes.
‘I’d like to take a shower. Can you help me take the bandage off my foot?’
He nods and I sit on the edge of the bed. He gently unwraps the flesh-colored, slightly elastic compression cloth and my ankle immediately begins to throb. The area feels like it’s expanding, as if my very skin is trying to escape the pain.
I like the weird feeling of that even less than the pain itself.
‘Are you okay?’ Blake asks.
I nod a little absently, wondering if I’ll even make it to the bathroom and that’s when I see Shade in the doorway, looking impassable in every way.
I make myself look at him properly.
‘She’s supposed to be staying off her feet,’ he rumbles.
‘I need a shower,’ I say.
‘You had a bath last night.’
His voice is so much like John’s, the one he’d use when there was no changing his mind because he’d madehis decision. It was the one he always used on me. My shame burns away at that tone, and anger quickly fills the void.
Is Shade really not going to allow me to decide for myself what I need after everything?
Thoughts flit through my head, spiraling quickly, fueling my sudden rage.
