Page 24 of Degradation
I’m an adult. My hair is dirty. I want to shower. I want to do what I want to do. Haven’t I earned it? I got the job in the lab. I’m doing two majors. I’m helping them with the research better than Marcus did. I’ll never earn it. I have to do what I’m told because they won’t help me. The way they’re treating me, I might as well be in The Heath!
My stupid lower lip wobbles dangerously with a myriad of emotions that rise like lava inside an erupting volcano. Everything comes up at once. I can’t unpick everything. I only know that I need to release them.
Anger. Resentment. Fear. Frustration. Sadness.
Don’t.
I’ve been doing so well. If I lose it now, all of this will have been for nothing, and they might as well call John.
‘I–I’d like to shower,’ I say, using all of my strength to force it all back.
It’s hard, almost impossible, but I succeed.
He’s watching me, waiting for one of my littletemper tantrums, as John liked to call them.
I stare at him. I can do this. I can fight my corner without escalating.
‘Dude, we’re both here if she needs help,’ Blake says, miraculously coming to my rescue. ‘She’s a big girl. If she wants to take a shower...’
Shade lets out a sigh. ‘Come on.’
I take a step, leaning heavily on Blake’s arm as I grit my teeth, trying desperately to prove to Shade that he doesn’t need to micromanage my life, that I’m not a child.
But I falter because it really does hurt like hell, and I can’t make myself go any further. I grind my teeth at my body’s weakness and clench my eyes shut.
‘I don’t think I can walk there,’ I admit through my clenched jaw.
I’m still holding onto Blake, and I feel his arm tense slightly. ‘Want me to carry you?’
I nod, not opening my eyes, and I’m whisked into his arms without warning.
My eyes open on a gasp as he cradles me, and my arms instinctively go around his neck. I frown up at him, though, because he’s holding me like a baby and that’s the exact opposite of what I’m going for.
He sees my expression and smirks. ‘Not what you were thinking?’
Blake walks to the door with me. Shade bars the way. He’s saying something to Blake with his eyes, but I’m not even going to try to work it out. They can play whatever intricate little mind games they want with each other, so long as they leave me out of them.
Shade finally steps out of the way and Blake angles me carefully across the threshold, making sure my injured foot doesn’t bang on anything.
He takes me down the hall to the bathroom and puts me down gingerly, his arms lingering on me for an extra second before he lets me go and turns on the light.
He looks at the white tub and then at me. ‘Are you sure you don’t want a bath instead?’
‘I’m sure,’ I say adamantly. ‘I don’t really recall much from last night after I...got back. But I didn’t wash my hair, and I can’t remember if I even used soap or just marinated in the water.’
I let out a huff, trying to explain even as I suppress a shudder. ‘It’s like I don’t feel...clean.’
BLAKE
Her quiet words undo me more than I’d care to admit.
Those fuckers are going to pay for what they’ve done, for making her feel this way. Shade says we have to wait, basically because two of them are rich kids with connections, but I’m not on board with that plan. As soon as the perfect opportunity arises, I’m going to ruin them and I’m going to make them hurt in every way I can.
I help Daisy step into the tub and turn on the water for her. She lets out a small noise of panic and I glance up to see her keeping Shade’s robe out of the surging water with one hand and untying it with the other. Putting my hand under the faucet, I look away as I wait for it to get to temperature. She shrugs it off and balls it up, making sure it stays dry. The t-shirt under it comes next and she lets it fall to the black tiled floor.
She doesn’t seem at all bothered that she’s naked in front of me, but I don’t let my eyes go anywhere near her, even as I ask myself why I’m acting so unlike myself. Usually, I wouldn’t think twice. My eyes would be taking in that smooth skin, her ass, and her tits like I’d never seen a girl before in my life.
‘It isn’t mine,’ she says, drawing me from my thoughts. ‘It’s Shade’s.’
