Page 122 of Degradation

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‘Daisy? What can I do?’ Shade asks from just behind me.

‘Take me back please,’ I say quietly.

I start walking slowly and he falls into step next to me.

‘I have the car.’

I nod and, seeing it by the curb, walk slowly toward it.

Shade opens the door for me, and I sink gratefully down into the low seat, closing my eyes as I fumble for the seatbelt.

‘You need medicine.’

I nod. ‘Only sent here with four,’ I sigh. ‘But they won’t give me anything without John. He’ll say yes if I behave at dinner on Friday. That’s his modus operandi.’

‘Will you be okay until then?’

I lean my head against the window. ‘It won’t go away by itself, if that’s what you’re asking. First time it happened at The Heath it was four days before they realized I wasn’t faking.’

He’s silent for a beat.

‘I’ll figure something out,’ he promises.

I breathe in. He smells of smoke and alcohol.

‘Where were you?’

‘What do you mean?’ His tone is careful.

‘Last night. This morning. You guys said it was a thing with Applegate, but you smell like cigarettes and beer.’

I can’t help my accusatory tone.

‘It wasn’t a thing with Applegate,’ he says after a moment. ‘We had to go to the club. There was a party. We had to be there. Business stuff.’

‘Right.’

I don’t say anything else. My head is all muddled up and I just need to lay down.

My vision goes blurry again.

The car stops and I open the door, struggling to get out because my left side is all tingly again.

I feel a hand reach down and I take it because otherwise I won’t be getting out, but when Shade tries to do more, I shy away.

‘I can walk.’

I follow him without a word.

Fucking Novelles. How did John get appointed to be my guardian, anyway? I’m an adult! Surely mom wouldn’t have wanted this.

I get inside the house and make for the stairs slowly. I can barely see them, but I know where they are.

‘Can I help?’ Shade asks.

My fist clenches and anger courses through me at the injustice of all this.

‘No.’

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