Page 54 of Provocation
‘I made the same deal to work off my dad’s debt.’ He looks away and then closes his eyes.
He stops talking.
‘What did he go to jail for?’ I ask quietly, prompting him to tell me the rest.
‘He got put inside for… They found out that he’d been stealing equipment from his job and selling it. It was so dumb. My mom was long gone. Maybe he thought she’d come back if he had some money, I don’t know. I sold everything in the house before I was kicked out when I couldn’t make the rent, but it was nowhere near enough. So now, he’s in jail and I’m working it off on my own. When I leave like that, it’s because I got a message that I need to be somewhere.’
‘To do work,’ I say.
He nods.
‘What kind of work do they make you do?’
He seems to curl in on himself. ‘Whatever they want, Daisy. I do whatever they want. Sometimes I just need to pick up a package. Other times rough someone up. I do what I’m told.’
I look down at his hand again, and I squeeze it. ‘So…you don’t have a girlfriend? You aren’t, I dunno, breaking up with me? I mean I know we aren’t together, but you know what I mean,’ I babble. ‘I know you aren’t my boyfriend or something.’
‘Daisy, I don’t even want to see anyone else, and I might not be your boyfriend, but you’re my girlfriend.’
‘I am?’ I can’t stop my wide smile at his words.
He nods and tilts his head to the side, his lips turning upwards a little as he assesses me. ‘So, that’s all you have to say?’
Oh.
I didn’t say I was sorry. Everyone says that, don’t they? They expect it back.
‘I’m sorry that your dad spent money he didn’t have,’ I say dutifully. ‘And that your parents are selfish people. It shouldn’t be up to you to fix your dad’s mistake.’
His face scrunches up. ‘You don’t care about the stuff they make me do?’
‘Why would I?’ My look is incredulous. ‘It’s not really you. It’s just something you have to do. That’s all.’
He takes my other hand. ‘Daisy, itisme. The things I’ve done… They’d make you sick to your stomach. You’d see me as a different person entirely. I’m not a good guy.’
My grin seems to take him aback. ‘Of course you are. You might have to do bad things, but that doesn’t makeyoubad.’
But then I frown. ‘I’ve done bad things, too. Does that mean you think I’m bad?’
‘No,’ he says immediately, stepping close and putting his forehead on mine. ‘Not at all. Never.’
‘Then you can’t be either,’ I say, pulling back and starting to walk again. ‘That wouldn’t make sense. Now, come on or I’ll be late for class, and I won’t finish everything on my very long list.’
I pull him with me and notice that he stays very close until we get to my building. This class is my only one outside of the Novelle Center. He walks inside with me and kisses my lips at the door.
‘See you after class, beautiful.’ He leans in close. ‘Want to know what I’m doing with you later?’
I nod, my legs clenching at his low, gravely tone.
‘I’m going to take you into the Dark Lounge at the club and show you how to use the swing.’
‘But I already know how to swing,’ I say, a little confused.
He laughs. ‘Not the way I do it.’
And then he’s gone, leaving me wondering what he means. I go into the classroom and sit at the back so I can see the whole room, opening my textbook to the right page and trying to pay attention. The teacher in this class tends to drone on and rarely says anything interesting, so I’ve read the textbook in advance.
I listen to him begin and stifle a yawn, but luckily the hour goes quickly. Before I know it, I’m in Grinder and half my shift is over. I’m on the industrial coffee machine today while someone else is on register and a couple are making cold beverages and food. I feel very barista-like as I make coffee after coffee methodically and perfectly.
