Page 56 of Provocation
‘Stop!’ I squeal, whirling around and pushing him away.
I’m breathing heavily. I yank up my pants and pull down my shirt, my eyes darting around, not sure where to look. My thoughts are spluttering, I don’t know what to do or how to feel. Did I do something to make him think… This must be a misunderstanding!
‘Stop?’ he snarls, taking a step toward me. ‘You little fucking tease!’
‘What?’ I ask, horrified.
‘C’mon! Everyone wondered who you were fucking to get into Chem. And Physics too! I was next on the list for that lab spot, but you got it. You definitely fucked Applegate. I mean Jesus. You live in a frat house! And the way they all said hi to you the other day.’ He laughs. ‘Is there a system to decide whose room you’re sleeping in each night? And you’re aNovelletoo? Fucking figures. You little rich girls. Always spreading it around to get what you want! Whatever you can’t buy with money, you get by sucking dick.’
‘N-none of that is true,’ I stammer.
‘Please!’ he snarls incredulously. ‘It’s not like you’re pulling your weight in this project. I’m carrying you. I’ve been carryingyou for the entire damn thing. All you’ve done is flirted with me the whole time!’
I gasp at his lies, but before I can say anything, he steps even closer and I shrink back, wishing that I hadn’t as soon as I do, angry with myself that I have.
‘And I’ll tell you what else. I’m having a slice like all the others. Unless you want me to go to Dean Wallis about you, you’re going to spread your legs for me too!’
All at once, fury envelopes me. He’d make me sleep with him in return for not ruining my college career? Why do all these entitled pricks think my body is for them? It’s mine! My eyes narrow to slits. How many other girls does this happen to? How many others hashedone this to?
He lunges forward and I don’t back up again. I smack him across the face as hard as I can, so hard my palm feels like it’s bruised.
He freezes, a hand on his cheek with wide eyes while I stand in front of him, my chest heaving.
The door.
I turn and lunge for it, twisting the lock and tearing it open only to be met with Laurie, Jolie, and a couple of other girls I only know by sight as belonging to their sorority of clones.
‘Having a little fun in one of the reading rooms, huh?’ Laurie says loudly and then feigns a gasp. ‘Oh, my!That isn’t Shade.’
I hear the click of a phone camera and some tittering.
Attempting to pull myself together, I skirt around them to where I was sitting only to find my coat covered in something dark and wet.
My coat. My present.
Tears fill my eyes. I blink them away immediately.
Not here.
‘Oh, yeah. Some maintenance man spilled black paint all over your jacket. You probably shouldn’t leave your stuff lying around, kid-killer,’ I hear Jolie say, and they all giggle.
My fury is palpable. I want to lash out. I want to throw my bag in her face, fling books off the shelves, destroy something. My body hums with the need.
I can’t give in no matter how much I want to.
Without a word, I pick up my bag and shove my laptop inside, checking that all my books are still there. I pick up my sodden coat and leave, noting that Bennet is no longer in the reading room.
I keep my eyes open as I leave the library, not wanting to see him. But I will have to at class tomorrow. I shudder as I relive his hands on me,inme. All those horrible things he said. Is that what everyone thinks? That I slept with Applegate? Is that why this keeps happening to me?
It can’t be a coincidence. It must be me. I’m doing something. I must be acting a certain way for them to think I’m interested somehow. This is my fault. And after last night… I thought Blake had been with someone elseand I was angry. What just happened…he has every right to be furious. They all do.
And my coat! My beautiful coat he got me is ruined!
I look down at the sticky black mass in my arms. My lip quivers and I can’t hold it in anymore. A sob explodes out of me, and I put my hand over my mouth to silence it as I walk, feeling eyes on me as I go across the Quad, the freezing autumn wind like a kick in the teeth, a rotten cherry on the top of this awful day.
I shouldn’t have left my coat out in the open. That’s my fault too.
Clutching my bag and my coat tightly, I walk faster and faster, needing to get away from everyone and everything. I begin to jog and then all-out run as fast as I can.
