Page 94 of Provocation
‘What you think of me.’ I curl in on myself. ‘What you all think of me now.’
Mav lets out a breath. ‘Maybe you both should give us a minute.’
Shade nods. ‘Let’s get rid of it now.’
He and Blake leave the office. I stare at the worn floor.
‘Daisy?’
‘Yes?’
‘Look at me, please?’
I do as Mav asks.
‘This is one of those things you don’t get,’ he says.
It is, I realize.
‘Do you want me to explain it?’
I nod.
‘You killed a guy. Whether you meant to, or not. Whether he was a bad guy, or not. You did that.’
‘Yes.’
‘Blake said you threw up.’
‘I felt kind of sick afterward. I still do a little.’
‘Because of what you did?’
I frown, looking back down at the floor.
‘No,’ I say after several seconds, then wince a little. ‘I don’t know.’
I look up at him again. ‘I don’t feel bad about what I did. If I hadn’t pulled the trigger, Blake wouldn’t be here.’
‘Then why did you feel sick?’
Before I know it, tears are coming to my eyes. I try to blink them away, but they just keep coming.
‘B-because you’re going to think there’s something w-wrong with me!’ I wail.
‘Us?’ His arms envelope me. ‘No, Tulip. We aren’t. We don’t. I promise.’
‘Then why were you beingweirdwhen we got back?’
He lets out a small chuckle. ‘We thought you might be upset. Sometimes you don’t show it. That’s all.’
‘You don’t think that I’m… a cold-blooded serial killer, or something?’
He huffs. ‘No, Daisy. None of us think that.’
‘But I’ve…killed before,’ I wince. ‘It’s the second time. It’s sort of becoming an alarming trend.’
‘Doesn’t count,’ he says, and I look at him in surprise.
