Page 71 of Given to the Fae
‘Bryn,’ he says with such upset that it makes my lip wobble.
I bite it still.
‘I wasn’treleasingyou. Not...like that.’
‘It felt the same, my lord,’ I force myself to say. ‘A master is a master.’
He’s silent. I can feel his eyes taking me in, trying to find a crack in my armor. I give him nothing except my false indifference and luckily that seems to be enough.
‘I see,’ he says very quietly, and I hear him leave the room.
I wipe my eyes and ignore the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. This is for the best. Locke was right. Morgan seems to believe that he actually holds some true affection for me. Gods only know why that would be the case. Perhaps he fancies himself a white knight.
I snort aloud. I won’t be saved by a fanciful story, or some male who mistakes his pity for caring. If I want to live and livefree, I need to get to the Light Realm. I’m the only one who can save myself. No one else is coming. I realized that long ago. That’s all there is to it. These fae are a means to an end, and if I have to play by their rules to survive, I will.
Perhaps I’ll never get to the Light Realm. That’s a real possibility. This is but the first step of a journey fraught with danger. I know that.
I stand up and look around. None of the fae seem to be here and I feel a bit lost. There’s nothing for me to do. I’ve been given no tasks, and I’m restless. I pick a book off the nearby shelf and turn the pages, looking for pictures, but there are none. The symbols that make the words mean nothing to me. At least, I think they don’t, but my eyes fall on one in particular. A stick with two half circles attached to it facing to the right. I trace it with my finger, and I’m transported into a hazy memory of doing the same. But my fingers are smaller, and I’m sitting in a chair. There’s a human in a white robe telling me the noise this symbol means.
‘Bu for Bryn,’ I whisper.
I snap the book shut and put it down, backing away from it slowly. I’ve never had a memory like that, one from before The Barrack. I only know I was brought there as a child because I heard Sio lament the day more than once. I don’t remember anything from before getting there except, vaguely, the trees.
I turn away, putting the odd vision from my mind. I don’t dwell on the past. I need to look to my future or else I won’t have one.
I find some duck eggs in a basket by the hearth and stoke the fire. I break two of the eggs into a pan and give them a stir. My stomach rumbles as I wait patiently for them to cook. I haven’t eaten an egg since I snuck one out of Ogdan’s coops and was able to cook it on his hearth while he was overseeing the breaking of one of the bulls. It took an hour of whipping before the onceproud human male groveled at Ogdan’s feet, and then Ogdan had him put in the block and mounted by whomever wanted him for a day, so that he understood his place.
Ogdan was gone ages, so I had more than enough time to cook the stolen egg and eat it too.
I eat them with a spoon while they’re still hot in the pan and, afterward, I clean everything up so no one knows what I did.
Force of habit, I suppose, because I don’t think the fae care what I do so long as I don’t try to leave.
When I’m finished, no one’s come back yet and there’s still nothing to do, so I empty all the supply sacks and repack them the way I saw Jak do.
After that, I decide to bathe mostly because I can’t think of anything else to occupy me. Leaving the rooms isn’t an option without one of them. Without a proper brand, I’d probably be taken and sold before the fae even knew I was missing.
Shivering at the thought, I lower myself into the steaming water of one of the massive tubs and breathe in the scents of jasmine and rose. I smile slightly. I’d better make it to the Light Realm if only to bathe like this instead of in a cold river. I don’t think I could go back to that.
I sit up with a frown. I languish in this hot bath while the rest of my kind in the Dark Realms suffer. While I know that me indulging in comforts doesn’t make a blind bit of difference, guilt has me washing quickly and getting out. I dry myself and find Morgan’s hair comb. I lament the fact that I won’t be able to let him take the tangles from my locks or plait it anymore. I liked it when he did that.
No!
I shake my head and tell myself to stop being such a fool as I use the comb as he showed me before, untangling the strands and then plaiting it myself. I scowl. It doesn’t feel the same as when he does it.
Not sure what to wear, I put on the clothes Morgan gave me.Hisclothes. I shouldn’t wear his shirt, I think, but I can’t find my slave dress anywhere. With a sigh, I leave the room and don one of the cloaks that’s on the hook by the door. It’s too long for me, but it’s thick enough to keep the chill off me as I open the door to the balcony. Outside, the black buildings almost melt into the dark sky.
I wander to the edge and peer over the black stone wall with a gasp as I see how high we are, though I haven’t set foot on even one staircase. I can make out the black awnings of the shopfronts, and see movement in the street below, but all the creatures look like insects from up here.
I laugh at the notion that I’m some higher being that’s watching them go about their little lives as I squint down, unable to make out any of the details.
Loud thunder sounds in the distance, and I look out over the roofs. Thick clouds are rolling in quickly and there’s so much lightning in the sky that some appear to glow. I’ve never seen such a storm, nor one that moves so fast, and I half wonder if it’s a conjure of some kind. A loud crash and a quick flash not far away make me jump and let out a cry of surprise. I didn’t think it was so close.
There’s another flash and a louder bang as a pole on a building is hit. It has me backing away from the edge, thinking that perhaps I’d better go indoors, just as rain begins to pour down like buckets of water being thrown from the sky.
I cower under the oversized cloak as I try to make it to the door to get inside, though I can’t see through the sheets of rain and I’m blindly stepping in the direction I think is right. There’s another hit. This one is on the building directly in front of the one I’m standing on the balcony of. The force of it throws me forward into a warm body and an arm immediately comes around me. I can’t hear anything over the roaring of the stormas I’m pulled inside and turn to find a very angry male. Jak is glowering at me, his fury unmistakable.
I retreat a step, my eyes shuttering instantly.
