Page 94 of Given to the Fae
I give him a hard look and I snatch off the bracelet so that he can see at least some of my scars. ‘All these. Every mark bar one or two was made by other slaves, or by guards under orders from Odgan and Sio. All of them were to hurt me, so that they would be hurt. The first and only time I was put in the block at The Barrack, the bull they paired me with was killed in an accident as soon as he did what he was told to do. Those other males at Dead City killed in that breeding house…accidents for harming me.’ I lean back in the chair with a sigh. ‘Remember what happened to Bere when he hit me instead of Ila?’
Jak’s eyes widen. ‘The bull that rampaged through the stable? That was your doing?’
‘Not specifically. I knewsomethingwould happen but I don’t decide what it is. Fate does.’
‘That’s why you threw yourself in front of that crone in the street. You knew that goblin who was beating her would be punished.’
I nod. ‘But I don’t feel guilty about that one,’ I mutter. ‘He deserved it.’
‘Kismet,’ he whispers. ‘I’ve heard the stories, but I never thought...’
‘I’ve never heard any of the stories,’ I admit. ‘Only the names they call me.’
Jak shrugs. ‘They’re just old stories. Likely with only a dusting of truth to them.’ He looks hard at me, his eyes traveling over the scars he can see. ‘All the different ways you were hurt...They were trying to find out what they could do and couldn’t do.’
I hug myself tightly and give him a small nod. ‘I’ll tell you anything you like about all of it. You don’t...have to do any of it yourself.’
He looks horrified. ‘Gods, Bryn. I’d never!’
He stands up and takes my arms in a firm but gentle grip. ‘I’d never hurt you.’
His eyes hold so much expression. He really believes it.
‘But you did,’ I can’t help but say. ‘Don’t you remember?’ I touch my forehead where I hit it on the bars when he pushed me into the cage all those days ago.
His face pales when he recalls what he did. ‘I’m sorry. Gods. I wasplayacting, Bryn. Warrior was watching me. The cunt was always fucking watching. I couldn’t let him think I wasn’t one of them. We’re here for a reason, you see? It’s important. Bigger than all of us. I can’t tell you any more than that, but I didn’t mean it. I didn’t know you then and I thought… I’m sorry. Please believe me.’
‘I do,’ I say, and it’s the truth. He’s shown me who he is and I don't believe he took any joy in what he had to do as part of Bere’s group.
I give his hand a squeeze and he looks relieved that I don’t seem to be holding a grudge.
‘Why wasn’t I punished for it?’ he mutters, his brow furrowing. ‘I hurt you, so I should have been hurt. Isn’t that how it works?’
‘All others have been,’ I say, searching his eyes in case he knows anything he’s not sharing, ‘except for you, Morgan, and Locke.’
His frown deepens. ‘I don’t understand.’
I know he’s a good actor, but I don’t think he has any idea why he and the others are safe from fate.
‘I don’t know,’ I say quietly. ‘I’ve told you everything, more than I’ve ever told anyone.’
I trust him, I realize and, then, before I can think the better of it, my lips are on his. He’s soft and yielding at first, and I wonder if he doesn’t want this, if he wasn’t being truthful before and he truly thinks I’m ugly, but then his arms tighten around me, and his tongue skates along the seam of my mouth.
I unbuckle his belt and it thuds to the floor, and then I part his tunic. He shrugs it off and I realize he’s half undressed me already. My own tunic is dangling from one arm and my breeches are open.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes,’ I breathe. ‘I want something for me, something that’s my choice.’
He squeezes me almost desperately as he turns me toward the bed and then seems to change his mind, he swings me back to the table and after pulling off the rest of my clothes, he lays me back over it and spreads me wide.
‘Gods, you’re beautiful,’ he says, tweaking my nipples and running his hands down my body almost possessively.
I could almost believe he means it until I look down and see the jagged, raised flesh of my stomach, and I look away.
He parts me and his thumb grazes a part that makes my back bow as I let out a strangled cry.
Leaning over me, he kisses me deeply, our tongues mingling, and when he moves away I startle because, by the door, I see that Morgan is watching. He turns and throws the bolt across carefully and quietly.
