Page 23 of The Redemption of Alex Cade
The following day, I cancelled the booking at the restaurant in favour of a delivery, with vague ideas of eating on the balcony under the outdoor heater, with the city lights Kit had loved so much as the backdrop. Christ, it could have almost been romantic if I’d let myself start thinking like that. I decided it was too bloody cold for that, heater or not.
Kit had seemed preoccupied from the moment he’d walked through the door, and when the food arrived he’d done no more than push it around on his plate. Whatever it was I’d been expecting from the evening, this wasn’t it. He was restrained and subdued, and I wasn’t a lot better, and as I glanced at him from across the kitchen island I wondered what it was that was dragging him down. There was only one way to find out.
“You’re about as dismal as a sink full of cold washing up water.”
“Sorry.” He tried to smile, but it wasn’t working.
“Has anything happened?”
“You could say that.” He rubbed his eyes, and when he looked at me they were red veined and tired, and I felt a pang of guilt for not noticing sooner. “Look, I didn’t know whether to say anything or not, but I had a visitor. Kelvin. He said he was passing by, which was crap.”
“What? When was this?” The food in my stomach congealed, heavy and greasy. Kelvin, in Kit’s home. Acid boiled in my stomach. Kelvin’s words about not letting the apple cart be upset suddenly made sense, alongside the feeling I hadn’t been able to pin down that he’d been watching me closer than normal. I ground my teeth, knowing I was right.
“When was this?”
“The day after you came around for the evening.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you phone me?” I was angry, not at Kit but at Kelvin.
“I meant to, but…”
Pushing the food aside, I got up and took Kit by the hand and led him to the sofa. “Tell me.”
Kit told me everything, each word hitting me hard in the guts. “He scared me, Alex. I’m not ashamed to say it. Even if he didn’t do anything more than drink a cup of tea and smile as he threatened me without actually?—”
“I understand.” And I did. Kelvin had always been at his most dangerous, his most intimidating, his mostthreateningwhen he’d been calm and smiling, always fucking smiling.
“He was warning me off. He told me you were really close, were more than business partners, that you’d been together for years, that?—”
“Stop.” I knew what he was thinking. What Kelvin had insinuated, it had dug in under Kit’s skin. Anger at whatKelvin had done boiled up in me, but I couldn’t waste my energy on it, not when I had to set Kit straight.
“Listen to me.” I placed my hands on Kit’s face to stop him from looking away from me. “There’s nothing between me and Kelvin, not the way you’re thinking. Whatever he may have insinuated. Yes, we have known each other for years and we’re close, but not like that. Never like that. All right?” Close? Kelvin and I were as bound and tangled and knotted together as a ball of wool, and completely screwed up. Kit nodded, and I let my hands fall from his face.
“Then why did he come here? Why does he see me as some kind of threat? I don’t understand, and now all that’s happened is that I’ve been made to feel unsafe in my own home.”
Kit wound his arms around himself, holding on tight. He looked so alone and vulnerable, all I wanted was to protect him, and keep him safe from all the danger that lay outside, on the other side of the door. Something twisted deep inside of me. I’d never felt anything like it before, the urge to protect and keep safe. As I gazed at Kit it hit me with the force of a tidal wave. I pulled him towards me and bundled him into my arms.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered into his hair. “I’m going to give it to him with both barrels. I promise you, this will never happen again.”
“What I don’t understand is why it happened at all.” Kit looked up at me, his blue eyes clouded as he sought the answers I knew but was unable to give him. If I told Kit even half of it, he’d be running for the hills.
Kit pulled out of my embrace, sat up and rubbed his eyes again with his knuckles. “He also said I was aniceboy who he didn’t want to see get hurt, and so I should lose your number.”
I hesitated before I spoke, the seconds counting out to the beat of my heart. “Do you want to lose it?” If Kit got up and walked out, I’d have let him because who in their right mind would want to wade into the mess that was me and Kelvin? Every muscle in my body stiffened as I waited for him to answer.
“No, I don’t want to,” he said quietly.
I’ll never know who made the first move. It didn’t matter, as our lips melted into each other’s. Yet what did matter was the sure knowledge that nothing could ever be the same again. A kiss was a line I never crossed, but I crossed it with Kit.
His palm was a solid weight against my chest, the heat of it sinking through my shirt straight to my skin. His fingers curled slightly, dragging over the fabric as if testing the feel of me beneath it.
Letting my own hands wander, I slid them from his waist up beneath his shirt. His skin was warm, smooth, his stomach tensing as my fingers traced over it. He made a small sound, the tiniest of whimpers, but it sent something sharp and electric through me.
I needed more.
I pushed his shirt up, exposing his pale skin, and when Kit didn’t stop me, when he lifted his arms to help me pull it over his head, I sucked in a hard breath. He was beautiful, he was mine, and I wanted him in a way I’d never wanted any other man, because he wasn’t that, he wasn’tany other man.He was good and decent and clean of all the shit that stained my life, and Christ if I didn’t want, didn’t crave, some of that. I pulled back a little. As much as I was on fire for him, I hesitated. I’d already crossed one line I believed I never would,but if I crossed this, I knew in every part of me that there would be no going back.
Kit gazed up at me. Confusion clouded his eyes, confusion that was raging inside of me.
