Page 18 of Meant for Them
He frowns. “I told you; I wanted to get you something to clean up with.”
“But you didn't tell me that. You just grabbed your clothes and went inside. How was I supposed to know you were doing that? From my point of view, you just took off and left me out there to get my own clothes and figure out how to get your all your cum off of and out of my body. I'm not exactly an expert on washing off male ejaculate after intercourse.”
He looks at me kind of oddly. “Are you sure about that?”
“Why the fuck would I lie about that?
He shakes his head. “Sorry. I just thought, you know the first time, there should have been something there for me to, I don't know, break through or something. That's what I was expecting.”
“Just because I've never had sex with a man, doesn't mean I've never had anything inside of me. I do have fingers and flexible wrists, you know. Lack of partner doesn't mean lack of opportunity. It simply means I have to get more creative with how I get myself off. I don't know if you know this about women, but we have sex drives as well. Just because I wasn't with anybody, doesn't mean I didn't want anything. Sex toys exist for a reason.”
His face flushes all red, but there's just a sour taste in my mouth now. Who is he to question what I told him? Whatever. I grab my plate and the other dishes and head inside, intent on getting everything cleaned up so I can just go to bed and try and wipe this memory from my head.
He follows me in, carrying his own plate. “You want to watch a movie or something?”
I exhale, thinking about it. No, not really. I want to be held and reassured that he wants me. I want to feel like it's okay to be weak, and I want to feel a bond between us. But apparently, he's not ready for that yet, and regardless of why, he’s still pulling back a little. It only feels right that I do the same. “I think I'm just going to head up to bed, actually. I've got a lot of schoolwork to do tomorrow. I’ll get these dishes done first though, so I don’t have to do them in the morning.”
He sneaks up behind me and pulls the plates from my hand gently, putting them in the sink. “I'll do the dishes. You should rest. Sorry.”
“Do you even know what you're apologizing for? Or are you just saying that to placate me?”
He takes a step back. “You know, I'm trying here, Morgan. You could cut me a little slack.”
In the exact same tone he said it to me, I look him dead in the face and offer, “Sorry,” before walking calmly to my room.
It's not until that door is shut and locked that I give in to the emotion overwhelming me. I'm sad, I still feel alone. Even after that incredible time with my mate, things are still off. I thought that sex would fix everything. Clearly, I have a lot to learn.
Thankfully I have my own bathroom so I can brush my teeth and get ready for bed without crossing his path again, and I lie in bed way too long staring at that door as tears fall from my eyes freely. I’m hoping he'll come check on me, hoping he wants to see me before he turns in for the night. And while his footsteps start to head in my direction, they turn around quickly and never come back. So, I guess it's just not that serious.
seven
Morgan
Sleep, when it comes, is troubled. I'm pretty sure my wolf feels like she's been partly rejected, because our mate’s not in bed with us after claiming us.
But then again, we never really got claimed, did we? Just fucked. Anybody can get fucked. Which makes me think that there's something wrong with me after all; that there's something within me that Alex finds lacking. Why else would he not have bitten me? I was all butbegginghim to the entire time we were locked together, bearing my neck as often as I could, holding his face to my neck when he started kissing me.
All that means is I really can't get comfortable here. As much as he said this is my home now, it still doesn't feel like it. And I don't know what's going to change that.
I don't even find any remnants of him when I finally get out of bed and stretch, no wolf fur that was shed inadvertently, no hint of the green apple scent that always lingers behind him.
After giving myself a few moments to wake up, I was planning to get right into my schoolwork and focus so I could get as much done as possible today. Keeping my mind busy seems to be the only way to keep it off of Alex. Which feels like something that's important to do now more than ever.
Except that when I get downstairs, he's still there. He's sitting at the dining room table, staring off into the backyard. Kind of looks like shit.
“Good morning.”
He startles, and that's when I realize he's wearing the same clothes that he was wearing last night. He looks at me as if he has no idea how I got in front of him and checks the clock on the microwave. “Oh, didn't realize what time it was. Good morning, Morgan.”
He extends an arm for me, encouraging me to come closer so he can hug me, but even that is a little lackluster.
His eyes are blank as he stares past me. “Look, I have to go out of town for a bit. I know it's not ideal, but it's unavoidable.”
It feels like knives are carving into my throat as I swallow. I hate that I have to be vulnerable, but I also have to ask, or else I'll be wondering later. “Any way I could come with you? I can take that laptop with me and do my work wherever you need to go.” Desperate? Maybe. I don’t want it said though that I didn’t try.
He grimaces, and I know the answer is no. I step back and tell myself that it's fine. It'sfinemy fated mate doesn't want me. It's fine that he’s running off the morning after he finally got to mate with me. It's fine that he's leaving me alone.
“There's a folder on my desk for you. Don't argue. I got you a card attached to my account, so that you can get whatever you need while I'm gone. I want you to use it, Morgan. Please, use it. There's some cash there too, just in case. And next to that is a phone. It's already set up. That way I can call you when I have a chance since your other one is a piece of shit.”
