Page 32 of Fresh Canvas
Hearing my stream of curses, Kate chuckled from outside the changing stall.
“Come out here so I can see them!”
“Over my dead body,” I retorted, trying the next size up. “I am not in a makeover montage from a cheesy movie.” The second pair slid somewhat easier over my hips—as easily as stiff denim could, that is. I buttoned them with a sigh of relief.
“Fine then.”
I yelped as the privacy curtain of the stall swept open and Kate barged in.
“Kate!” I shrieked. “What if I wasn’t dressed?!”
“But you are, so who cares?” Kate surveyed my legs in the mirror. “Those look fantastic! We’re buying them.”
I scrutinized my reflection. The pants did look great. They fit me well, emphasizing my ample curves in the right places. Ithad been a long time since I’d seen myself like this. Averylong time. Unease settled in the pit of my stomach.
Suddenly, it all felt like more than a pair of pants. Unexpected emotion began to well in the reflection of my gray eyes.
“Amantha! What’s the matter?” Kate exclaimed in alarm.
I sank onto a green stool in the changing stall. Embarrassed, I swiped at my cheeks.
“I don’t know why this is so hard,” I sniffled and hugged my abdomen, trying to ward off memories of a broken sprinkler pipe and a broken heart.
Kate crouched next to me, squeezing my knee. “I’m here. You can talk to me.”
While she already knew about Ryan and his infidelity, I still hated talking about it. Releasing the breath I hadn’t realized was trapped, I tried my best to explain.
“I don’t know. When Ryan did…” I swallowed. “What he did, it really wrecked me, you know? I wasn’t prepared for that level of rejection.”
Anger flashed through Kate’s angular eyes, though her voice sounded gentle. “No one would have been.”
“This is so stupid.” I forced a harsh laugh. “They’re only jeans. It’s justshopping. But… I can’t shake this feeling.” Finding Kate’s gentle hands in mine, I let my shoulders fall. “I’m scared, Kate.”
She pulled me into her arms then, waiting for as long as I needed. Her glossy hair smelled faintly of jasmine. Kate pulled back, leveling her fierce expression with mine.
“Of course you are. Beginning life again is scary. But this isyourlife, not his. Imagine you have a new, fresh canvas.Youget to be the artist.”
After plenty of heartbeats passed, I nodded. Ryanwashistory. This was my life. Resolve filled my lungs. While I wasn’t ready for love today, or even tomorrow, I wanted to believe that it could happen.
Someday.
“I’m so, so lucky to have met you, Kate.” I hugged hertightly. Even with my almost-nonexistent pool of suburban mom friends, I’d never experienced a friendship so full of love and understanding.
“Yes, yes you are.” Her chuckle rumbled against my shoulder. She pulled back and gathered her long hair into a quick ponytail. “Now hurry up. I’m dying to meet the infamous Susan.”
By the time the sun had set, I’d given Kate a house tour, and Mom had coerced a steaming cup of coffee into her hands so she’d stay and chat longer. But one look at my best friend told me she’d live here if she could. Her contagious laughter at Mom’s embarrassing stories of me even had me chuckling.
“I can’t even,” Kate gasped, “I’m going to need photo proof, Susan.”
“Happy to. Took an entire week to convince her that underwear wasn’t a hat. Such a stubborn toddler.” Mom grinned at me like a Cheshire cat in a blue cardigan.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to need more coffee to keep up with you two, aren’t I?”
Their heads swiveled toward each other like mischievous twins before they busted up laughing again. After a minute, Kate raised her mug.
“I’m gonna need more caffeine just to get home! Amantha, I can’t believe you drive that commute every day.”
“It’s the worst,” I agreed.
