Page 118 of Fresh Canvas
“Okay, Mom. Love you too.”
“Yeah?” How Ryan’s voice could still hold such a cocky challenge was beyond me.
“Okay, Ryan, don’t take this the wrong way—or do—butcomforting has never been your strong suit. I’m flying in tomorrow.”
“Amantha! Just stop, okay? I’ve got this handled.” He paused, then grumbled, “I mean, I’ll admit I’m not the best at thisstuff, but Vanessa’s here.” His voice softened into something that made me want to gag. “She’s really good at this kind of thing. Plus, they’ve really bonded.”
A slap of jealousy overcame me before the strangest secondary emotion accompanied it.
Relief.
Trusting Ryan to take care of Anthony through this alone scared me. But at least at thebareminimum, Vanessa was there to comfort my baby when I couldn’t be. I blew out a frustrated, bewildered breath.
“Let me talk to Vanessa.”
“I’m sorry, what?” It was as if I’d asked Ryan to go streaking through Italy wearing nothing but a beret.
“Let me talk toVanessa,” I said.
“Um, hello?” Even from over the Atlantic, Vanessa’s voice was stillsoannoying.
“Vanessa. Hi. Listen, whatever you do, make sure Anthony stays on top of his pain meds. He’ll try to play it tough. Don’t let him. Also…” I expelled a heavy breath. “Um… Thank you for taking care of him. I’m glad he has you there.” My words faded into a stunned silence.
Vanessa’s irritating tone softened.Slightly.
“Of course. There’s no place I’d rather be. I’ll do everything I can to keep Anthony comfortable until he’s back home with you and Val. I think that was his name, right? In the park? Oh, here’s Ry. I think the doctors are coming back.”
I heard a muffled, “Who’sVal?” and Vanessa’s garbled response that I couldn’t make out.
Great. Just great.
Ryan’s muffled voice became as loud and sharp as a blade. “Well, looks like you’ve got a tough conversation coming once I get back. ButI’mgoing to focus on Anthony right now. The docssaid if there’s complications, they want Anthony’s follow up appointment to be in the states. I’ll know by tomorrow. Just stay put until then. There’s no point in coming if we’re flying back.”
The fight left my body, leaving me slumped and clammy against my pillow.
“...a tough conversation coming once I get back…”
What did that mean? Was he hinting at another custody battle?
All I managed to say was, “Ifanythingchanges, call me immediately. Do you hear me?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll call.” Then he hung up.
My emotions were so intertwined, I couldn’t begin to find the frayed ends to pick the knot apart.
Anthony had been in an accident.
He had undergone surgery.
Without me.
I felt, unequivocally, like the world’s worst mother. I had allowed my irresponsible ex to take my child to another continent for months.For the second time this morning, I wished for a time machine. I would have never signed that decree amendment to let Ryan take him abroad. If only I had been willing to give Ryan joint custody in the first place, none of this would have happened.
Instead, I’d been selfish.
And my selfishness had resulted in my baby being injured, scared, and 4,656 miles away from me. And despite all my efforts to keep my job, it sounded like I was going to have to fight Ryan for custody all over again. I covered my rapidly cascading tears with my forearm.
How could I have let this happen? What on earth was I doing? Galavanting about the museum? Playing detective?
