Page 136 of Fresh Canvas
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You can’t bring me here and expect everything to go away. You can’t say you love me and have it fix everything. You can’t just kiss me, Val. That’s not how it works.”
“Do youstilllove me?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“That doesn’t exactly answer my question, Adams,” I said quietly. I saw the stubborn, telltale biting of her lip and risked a few steps closer. “Amantha, do you still love me?”
Her eyes squeezed shut as if to barricade her thoughts from me. While every fiber of my being wanted her to love me back, I’d support whatever future she chose. I at least owed her that.
“If not, tell me to go, and I’ll go. I won’t blame you,” I said.
No response.
Her body trembled, though I wasn’t sure if it was because of emotion or her rain-soaked clothes.
“Listen, my life is forever yours whether you want it or not. You just want to be friends? I’ll be the best friend you’ll ever have. You want to ignore my existence? That’s fine too. I’ll even leave the museum. Blythe is desperate to have you back anyways. Consider it yours.”
She lifted an eyebrow above her tears. “You’d do that for me?”
“You still don’t get it, do you? Amantha, I’d rip my heart in half every day if it meant you’d be happy again. You don’t know how it nearly kills me not to see you smile anymore. And Iknowit’s my fault. IknowI don’t deserve you.” I sucked in a breath. “But this is not about me. This is about you. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”
Rain continued to assault us, the staccato sound on my car filling the silence.
“It’s not that simple,” she said.
“Amantha, do youstilllove me?”
No response.
My desperation was nearing insanity. “Do you want me to get down on my knees for you? Or could you stop being so stubborn for just a second of your life?!”
Her temper flared. “I’m stubborn? Oh,I’mstubborn?!”
“Tell me what to do!” I roared in exasperation, rain dripping into the collar of my white button-up. “You don’t deserve the world, Amantha, you deserve the whole universe! Whether you like it or not, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making amends to you, and I don’t give a damn what that looks like! I’ll ask youonemore time, Adams. Do. You. Still. Love. Me?”
No response.
“Amantha!”
“Fine! Yes! Okay? I never stopped loving you this whole time.” Sobs erupted between her shouts. “You can be such a jerk, do you know that? You make me so crazy I?—”
My kiss devoured the rest of her rant.
Her arms flew around my neck, crushing me against her.
Raindrops and tears lined our lips, the admittance of her love the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted. It didn’t matter that she was stubborn, infuriating, or that she snored like a foghorn; I was decidedly going to love her for the rest of my life.
thirty-nine
AMANTHA
Val’s sheer button-up was soaked through, clinging to his muscular chest. I glanced down between our tender kisses at my own transparent shirt.
Bad day to have chosen a lacy black bra.
In my defense, how could I have ever predicted this morning that it would later be revealed toValof all people? At least my blazer offeredsomedecency.
“Amantha, I love you.”
