Page 20 of ICED
Maya’s posture stays rigid.
“You okay?” I ask gently.
“Fine. Just tired.”
Liar, I think. But I let it go.
Not because I believe her. Because I know asking again won’t work.
Later that night, I end up at Ollie’s flat. His sofa’s knackered and sags like it’s giving up on life. I’m slouched into it with a beer and my shoulder wrapped in a heat pack. Ollie’s next to me, eating crisps like they’ve insulted his mum.
“So, Maya then,” he says, mouth full. “The little one called you Mr Bear?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s disgustingly adorable. You’re doomed.”
I grunt. “She gave me two raisins. From her pocket.”
“Sticky raisins are legally binding. That’s child law.”
I snort. “She said they were good for me.”
“She’s right. Kids know. Lila sounds like a bloody genius.”
“She is,” I say without thinking. Then I pause, realising how easily that slipped out.
Ollie notices too and raises an eyebrow. “You’re in it, then.”
“Not in it. Just…” I trail off, unsure what this is. What I want it to be.
“Youlikeher,” he says. “Proper like her.”
“Yeah.”
“But you’re not making a move. Why?”
I sip my beer. “She’s got her hands full.”
“That’s not a reason, mate. That’s an excuse. Is it her ex? The one that’s not around?”
“Maybe. I dunno. She’s scared. I can see it in the way she flinches at loud noises. The way she tracks the street like something might jump out at her.”
He goes quiet at that and reaches for another handful of crisps.
“You think it’s something big?” he asks eventually.
“Feels like it. Something she’s not saying.” I run a thumb over the bottle label. “Like there’s a part of her locked behind a door and she’s scared to hand anyone the key.”
“Could be something legal. Or custody stuff?” Ollie hazards.
I nod. “Could be.” But deep down, I think it’s worse than that.
“You worried it’s a dealbreaker?” he asks.
“No,” I say instantly. “I’m worried it’s something that’s hurting her. And she’s still trying to carry it alone.”
There’s a pause. On the telly, Attenborough says something poetic about the patience of seals. Ollie’s staring at the screen but not watching it.
