Page 52 of ICED
The first step is chaos. Her feet go out from under her immediately and she squeals, flailing.
“I’m flying!”
“You’re not!” I say, catching her under the arms just in time. “You’re falling.”
“Same thing!”
I laugh and lift her gently back up, her skates wobbling under her. She clutches my jacket with both hands, eyes wide but sparkling.
“You okay?” I ask.
She nods. “It’s slippy!”
“It is,” I say. “But I’ve got you.”
She beams. “You’re strong like a tree.”
We inch our way forward, baby steps, gliding slowly across the ice. Her laugh rings out every time her feet slide. She’s terrible at it. But she doesn’t care.
I wish I could bottle the sound of her laughter.
At one point, she lets go of my hand to try it solo. Her arms flail. Her knees go loose.
“Jellybean…”
She topples sideways with a dramatic yelp and I dive, catching her mid-fall before she hits the ice.
I hold her close, my heart hammering against my ribcage.
“You okay?” I whisper, voice rough.
She nods. Then says, very quietly, “You didn’t shout.”
My stomach drops. “Why would I shout, Jellybean?”
“’Cause Daddy did,” she says, still nestled against my chest. “He shoutedreallyloud when Mummy fell. She cried. And then I cried too.”
My hands go still.
Maya’s ex.
I swallow hard. “You remember that?”
She nods against my chest. “I don’t like when people fall. Makes my tummy hurt.”
I pull her in tighter, gently rocking her.
“You know what?” I say, voice thick. “Falling’s okay. Everyone falls. What matters is someone’s there to help you back up.”
She peers at me, eyes shining. “You help me?”
“Every time.”
Her smile wobbles, but she nods. “Okay.”
Maya’s by the glass now, watching, frozen in place. Her hands are clutched tightly in front of her, and there’s a sheen in her eyes she probably doesn’t realise I can see.
I lift Lila into my arms and skate slowly toward the boards.
