Page 69 of A Song of Ravens and Wolves
‘If it is just a meeting, why do we need to be in attendance?’ said Agda.
‘It would be foolish to only sail with half our ships if we are to go to fight them.’
Loud protests rang out.
He carried on. ‘I did not say that we will, but if we need strike, left without our ships, without our men, it would end in failure. No matter how good our shield wall, we would be dead before your ships could reach us.’
Agda sneered. ‘Will he be providing us coin? And land? And enough food for our warriors? They will not march without it.’
The clamour grew louder.
‘Send your men,’ said Agda. ‘You will get none of mine. I swear fealty to you and no one else.’
‘I ask that my warlords come with me to Alba, to support me.’
‘Jarl Sigurd-.’
Before Agda could finish, I rose from my seat, touching Sigurd’s arm to silence him.
‘How many horns of ale have ye swallowed?’ I said, as loudly as I dared. ‘What I see before me are not warriors but a few lazy drunkards. Your Jarl is asking that you accompany us to Alba, as envoys of our lands. You will refuse him?’
The room fell silent.
I carried on. ‘You pledge no allegiance to Laird Malcolm, but here in my belly, I carry not only the heir to Orkney but an heir to the throne of Alba. We are united whether we like it or no. This.’ I pressed the pear shape of my growing child. ‘This is what ties us. The northern isles and Alba. If we needed it, the Laird King and his men would be on our shores standing shoulder to shoulder with us. It is our duty to do the same.’
All eyes were on me then, but I did not believe a word of it, but I was so consumed in trying to free Donada from my father’s clutches that I would have told them anything. Right then, I could hear every breath. Every heartbeat. The flicker of every flame. Sigurd stood proud beside me.
‘Will you give your fealty? Will you travel with us to Alba?’
My innards felt as though they were filled with beetles, trying to crawl their way out. I held my breath, waiting for someone, anyone to answer.
‘I will,’ said Agda, bending down on one knee. ‘You can have my men and you can have my ships.’
Shouts of agreement rang out across the Mead Hall. We had our warlords.
Chapter 26
Fight your foes in the field, nor be burnt in your house
The events of The Thing had gone on long into the night. Somewhere around midnight, after all, six of the chieftains had drunkenly pledged their fealty for the fourth time and congratulated us on our news I crawled beneath the furs on our marital bed leaving my husband to his ale.
Sleep did not come.
I lay numbly staring at the ceiling.
By dawn, I would be on my way back to Alba, to my past and the life I had tried to run from for so long. What was left? A hateful absent mother. A half-sister that was married now with a family of her own. There was only Donada and Elpin.
Elpin. Suddenly all I could think of was the last morning I saw him, standing in the woods and asking me to leave with him. He loved me with a fierceness that was seared through him like a brand, and I him. He was the brother I had never had. I often wondered, over the years what he had thought of my marriage to Sigurd but we never spoke of it again. We focused on what came after. He never left my side. He always kept us safe and for that, I am truly grateful.
I wrapped myself in a blanket and wandered over to the cheese and bread that Ligach had left for me. There in the pewter dish, my finger traced the line of the woman who stared back at me. My mother. The woman I remembered from before. She was in the curve of my smile. My laugh. My gentleness. I would not be like her. In that moment, I thought that grief would nevertake me as it had her, that I would be the strength that she had never had. How foolish I had been.
My heart would soon be cleaved open. A wound that would never be healed but would need to be slowly stitched back together. I would never be whole again, but somewhere in between.
By the fireside, I took out the pieces from the Tafl board. I lifted each tiny piece, feeling the weight of the ivory in my palm and placing it on the board where it should be. I imagined our winter nights spent teaching each other games and learning each other’s worlds.
Sigurd infuriated me with his bullishness. He would never listen. He would not bend his will, but in return, he would not expect me to bend my own. In his eyes, I was not lesser than him. I was prized for my intellect. We were equals.
Byrgisey was pagan. Dangerous. A land that God had forgotten. But it was a sacred land, and my heart now belonged to it. Here, away from my father, I had flourished. Grown. I had no priest praying for my salvation. I did not need redemption. Here I was free. I had taken root like Yggdrasil, the world tree.
