Page 67 of Only Her (K2 Team)
“Yeah. I’m sorry, darlin’. You don’t deserve this.”
“You didn’t do it, so why should you be sorry?”
Because he hadn’t protected her, nor had he been there for her when she’d needed him. Those were his regrets, but he’d had a much-needed breakthrough during his session with Tom, and the goo in his head didn’t seem as thick as it had before. So where should he have been? With her or with his head doc? He didn’t know.
Although he still thought she deserved better than what he had to offer, he’d left Tom’s office believing that if he worked hard at it, he could dig himself out of the black hole he’d been existing in. And by working really hard, doing everything his doctor said, he could become a man who deserved the love of an amazing woman.
When he’d read the message that her house was on fire, and didn’t know if she was home or not, the thought of losing her made him feel like his chest had been cut open with a dull knife. Maybe he didn’t deserve her, but he sure as hell needed her. From the beginning, he’d known he’d find a way to screw things up with her, and now, he just had to figure out how to fix everything.
He glanced over at their animals. The cats were resting on a large towel, awake and in the process of getting a bath—Arthur from Pretty Girl, and Merlin from Sally. The dogs didn’t like the smell of smoke on their friends, and the cats didn’t seem to mind getting washed. Both appeared to still be dazed, though.
“Are they going to be okay?” He lifted his chin toward the cats.
“I think so. I ran complete blood profiles and urinalyses, and the results aren’t great, but they’re not life-threatening numbers either.” She bowed her head, as if in prayer. “I gave them both antibiotics to fight off any infection,” she said, glancing at him. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad Pelli was taken. He never would have survived the fire as little as he is.”
Desperation and sadness dulled her eyes, and although he couldn’t promise her cats would be okay, he could hold her, something he thought she needed. He opened his arms. “Come here, darlin’.” For a few seconds, he thought she was going to refuse, then she came toward him.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she crawled onto his lap. “I don’t have a house, or clothes, or a car. The few photos I had of my parents are gone. Everything’s gone, gone, gone. Up in smoke. What if she... he, whatever, burns my clinic down? Then I really won’t have anything.”
She had him, but that was something he’d have to prove to her. “As we speak, Kincaid is arranging around-the-clock security for your clinic. That’s one thing you don’t have to worry about.”
“I don’t know how I would have gotten through this without you and your friends. I’ll pay all of you back somehow.”
“Hush. That’s a worry for another day. Jake said you came up with a name, Ziegler?”
She toyed with the hem of his T-shirt sleeve. “Yes. He owned the dog that was accidently cremated. I was going to drive by the Zieglers’ house this morning, but realized that was a stupid move. Jake drove us by there on the way to the air show, but there was nothing to see.”
“Don’t ever go off someplace on your own like that without me... or at least, someone. But preferably me.”
She leaned back and stared at him. “From the day my parents died, I’ve only been able to depend on myself. Then you came along and I thought...” She shook her head as she pushed off him. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. When you left this morning, the way you left, it hurt. When you needed me the most, you wouldn’t let me in. You walked away, Cody. How do I know you won’t do it again?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Two days had passed, and she and Cody still hadn’t talked. Not that he hadn’t tried, but she’d put him off. So much crap was stuffed into her head that Riley thought it might explode. Worry about Pelli, no home, no car, meetings with her insurance company, an arson investigation... the list was endless, and there was just no room left for dealing with what was going on between her and Cody.
At least she had new clothes, having gone shopping with Cody trailing alongside her, his eyes constantly scanning the mall for a monster that burned down houses and stole kittens. It had been nerve racking, and she hadn’t bothered to try anything on, only wanting to get what she needed and return to the safety of Cody’s house.
The problem that she couldn’t get past—trusting him to not shut her out the next time he fell into his black hole. Each time she put him off when he tried to talk about their relationship, she was hurting him, could see it in his eyes. But she would be the first to admit she had trust issues.
Almost everyone in her life had let her down. Her parents by dying before she even had any memories of them, her grandmother for resenting her, an endless line of foster parents who didn’t give a shit about the kids they brought into their homes. And then there was Reed, the one person she’d thought would stand by her side forever. Instead, he’d chosen drugs over her.
Cody had walked out on her Sunday morning, and who was to say he wouldn’t do it again? Like everyone else in her life, he had left her, and it hurt. A nagging voice said she was punishing him for the crimes of others, and maybe she was. Had she overreacted to his leaving the way he had? Everything was just so confusing right now.
He had spent the morning at K2 presumably to begin planning the operation his boss had mentioned last Saturday night. What if something bad happened and he had a relapse of some kind? Would he walk out again? This afternoon, he was meeting with his doctor, getting Tom’s opinion on how ready he was to go back to active status. In her opinion, Cody wasn’t ready, but she kept that to herself.
They’d slept in the same bed the last two nights, but other than hold her, nothing else had happened between them. That was at her request, and it was killing her. She wanted him so badly that there had been a constant ache in her heart. But until they worked things out—if that was possible—she didn’t want to fall in love with him. She huffed a breath. As if she had control over her heart.
“Stupid heart,” she muttered.
“Your first afternoon patient’s in room one,” Brooke said, stepping into Riley’s office.
“Thanks. Be there in a sec.” She scooped the last bite of yogurt out of the cup as she glanced at the day’s schedule, which showed that it was a new patient. Before she went to the exam room, she made a detour to check on Pretty Girl and her cats. Unwilling to leave them alone and vulnerable to a madman, or madwoman, as the case might be, she’d brought the entire crew to work with her. The K2 man sitting in her lobby, pretending to wait for his appointment, was using Sally as a prop. Because they got along so well, Riley had let her cats and Pretty Girl stay together in one of the large dog kennels.
Her phone vibrated, and she pulled it out of her lab coat pocket to see Cody’s name on the screen. She debated answering, but she had a new patient waiting, so she let it go to voice mail. After a minute, it beeped a message. She peeked around the corner to see that Pretty Girl and the cats were curled up together, napping. Not wanting to disturb them, she headed down the hallway, listening to Cody’s message.
So Mr.Ziegler had been married. Cody also said that he had died a year ago, and that Mrs.Ziegler fit some of the points on the profile. He ended the message by telling her he’d come straight to the clinic after his session with Tom.
Was it possible they had found the person making her life miserable? Being afraid all the time was exhausting. Hope blossomed that she would have Pelli back soon, but would an honest mistake in cremating the wrong dog send someone over the edge? Somehow, it didn’t seem likely, but if the woman was already unbalanced, maybe the death of her husband had contributed to her mental state.
