Page 39 of Queen of Diamonds
“Ah, so you really were only kidding about eloping. Bummer.” She smiled, and her eyes softened. “Seriously, though, there’s no way to know if after a week or a month or whatever, this chemistry is between us will fade and we go our separate ways, or if one or both of us will fall in love. If love comes into the equation, it sounds like one of us is going to get hurt. Probably me.”
“Probably.” Although he had a feeling this woman had the power to hurt him, and funny enough, he would be willing to risk it if she was agreeable to never having children. But he could never ask that of her.
“I’ve always wanted children someday, and I don’t think I could give that dream up. I also don’t want to give you up, Rand. So what do we do?”
Kinsey had only known this man what? About two weeks? She hadn’t stopped to closely examine her feelings for him, but she had a sneaking suspicion that she was already falling for him. She got where he was coming from. If she’d experienced the kind of loss he had, she would likely be saying the same thing. As much as she wanted to keep seeing him, wouldn’t it be wiser to end it now before she made the jump from falling for him to being in love with him? Or would she be willing to give up having children for this man?
She didn’t have an answer.
“Maybe you should take some time to think,” he said.
“That’s a good idea.” She wanted to cry at the sadness in his eyes. He’d had more pain in his life than anyone should have, and she wanted to crawl into his lap and soothe his hurts. She wanted to heal him. But she couldn’t.
He smiled his sad smile as he stood. “I’m sorry, Kinsey.”
“You have no reason to be.” She held out her hand, letting him pull her up. She lifted onto her toes and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I firmly believe those we’ve loved and lost are looking down on us. You said you’ve just recently been able to smile when thinking of Zoe. I think that makes her happy and that each time you do smile over a memory of her, she smiles, too.”
“Jesus, Kinsey,” he whispered. “There’s nothing more perfect you could have said just now. Thank you.” He slid the back of his hand down her cheek. “You have my number. Call me when you make a decision.”
“I will. Take care, Rand.” After he was gone and she’d locked up behind him, she returned to the patio to think. She’d never seen a possibility of a future with Rick. All he’d been was someone to go out with, to have fun with. Rand was a different animal altogether. She could see herself falling in love with him, and that would only mean heartache because she didn’t think she could give up having children. The tears came then, and with them came a sense that she’d lost something precious.
