Page 56 of Queen of Diamonds
He smirked. “For the third time. And you do love me, so stop trying to analyze something that just is.”
“You did that on purpose, talked my ear off so I’d eat.”
“Busted. Now let’s get you to bed.”
“I’ll help you clean up.”
“No, you won’t.” He held out his hand.
“I feel like such a baby.” She put her hand in his and walked with him to the bedroom. “Will you stay with me?”
“Climb in. I need to make a phone call and put the soup away. I’ll be back soon. It’s been a long time since I’ve taken an afternoon nap, especially with a gorgeous woman in my bed.”
After he left, she pulled off her yoga pants and slipped into probably the biggest, softest bed in the world. She’d thought she would fall instantly to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw Sebastian’s face. Soft music still played from the speakers, so she shut her mind to all but the piano concerto.
Rand returned a few minutes later, shucked his jeans, shoes, and socks, then slid into the bed. When he spooned her and wrapped an arm around her waist, she sighed from the pleasure of having him pressed against her.
“Are you too sleepy to talk for a few minutes?” he asked.
“I don’t know if I can sleep. When I close my eyes, I see his face.”
“That’s what I want to talk about.” He reached for her hand and laced his fingers around hers. “You did nothing wrong, Kinsey. You’re not to blame for what he did.”
“I know that, and that’s not what bothers me.”
“Then tell me what does.”
She was glad she faced away from him because it made it easier to talk about it. “He watched me, Rand. Watched me undress, take a bath. God, did he even watch me pee?” His hand tightened around hers, but he didn’t speak, which she appreciated. “He made me feel dirty. And part of it is my fault. I didn’t take his harassment seriously, and I should have. If I had, I would have reported him, even if it meant losing my job.”
“First, you’re not dirty, Sunshine. Not even close.” He tightened his hold on her. “This is all on him. I know that’s easy for me to say, but think about this. If you let him put that thought in your head, you’re letting him win.”
“Yeah, but getting my mind to believe that isn’t so easy.”
“Finding out you were being watched isn’t a small thing. It’s not like some jerk giving you a wolf whistle as you walk by that you can ignore. He violated you in one of the worst ways possible. Give yourself a little time to get your head straight and accept that you aren’t responsible in any way for his actions. It also might help to talk to someone, a professional who deals in sexual assaults.”
“Maybe.” She turned and faced him. “Since you’ve brought that up, I’ve been thinking. Have you ever considered doing that? You know, talking to someone who specializes in coping with loss?” She had been wanting to talk to him about seeing a therapist, and he’d just given her the opening to bring it up.
After hesitating, he said, “Honestly, before meeting you, I didn’t want to feel better. It seemed like it would be a betrayal to my daughter if I ever let go of the pain that lived in my heart. That how deeply I hurt was proof of how much I loved and missed her.”
She rested her palm on his face. “Oh, Rand, that’s—”
“Not true. I know that now. And maybe it is time to talk to someone. We’ll discuss this some more, but right now you need to get some rest.”
“Yeah, I am tired. Tomorrow I need to start looking for a job since there’s no way I can go back to Summer Fashions.”
Rand wanted to tell her that she didn’t need the job, that he would take care of her. Since he doubted that would go over well, he kept that to himself. “Did you like working there?”
“Yeah, except for Sebastian. I doubt Mr. Summer will give me a good reference.”
“Yes, he will. Trust me on that.” He’d make sure of it.
“I hope so. I not only lost my job but my apartment, too. I feel like he stole everything from me.”
“Move in with me.” He held his breath, waiting for her answer.
“It’s too soon to take that step.”
“No, it isn’t. What I feel for you is real. If not for what happened, we wouldn’t be talking about this yet, but I don’t for a minute doubt that I want us to make a life together.”
