Page 6 of All Autumn
It would have hurt no matter who it was, but Brian had dated Lina Kramer before we started seeing each other. He’d claimed there had been nothing between them but sex. “She’s great in bed, but a bitch out of it,” he’d once said. It hit me then that I’d closed my eyes and ears to what I should have seen as a red flag. A man shouldn’t call a woman he’d been sleeping with a bitch.
I tried to remember if he’d ever told me I was great in bed, but he never had. “Do you think I’m sexy?”
“Huh?”
I laughed at Connor’s deer-in-the-headlights expression as he stood frozen with a bowl in one hand and the fork he was whipping eggs with in the other. “You’re dripping eggs on the floor.”
“Right. I better clean that up before…” His eyebrows scrunched together. “Before whatever.”
“It was a simple question, Connor. Yes, Autumn, I think you’re sexy. No, Autumn, I don’t think you’re sexy.”
“I don’t think of you in that way at all.”
“Oh.” Well, that kind of hurt, although I’m not sure why. If he’d felt like a brother to me growing up, then it would work the same for him, right? And no brother thought of his sister like that. Ugh.
“Christ, Autumn, you’re screwing with my mind.” He let out a big sigh. “I just hurt your feelings, didn’t I?” He gave the eggs a furious whip as if they’d thoroughly annoyed him.
Yes. “Of course not.”
He set the bowl down. “Why don’t you go put on something more comfortable than that”—he waved the fork at me, dripping eggs again—“trench coat while I finish cooking up some lunch.”
How had I forgotten I was standing here practically naked? “Good idea.”
As I passed the dining room, I glanced over, letting out a cry at seeing the cake and presents. I’d worked so hard to make this a perfect night for Brian, and with my rage burning hot all over again, I marched into the room.
I stared at the gifts I’d wrapped in foil paper with beautiful bows that I’d taken the time to make myself. “I’m such a fool,” I whispered. With one sweep of my arm, I sent them flying across the room. The heavy present, the one with the monogramed car mats, hit the wall with a loudthud. The smallest box containing the TAG Heuer watch sat next to my foot. Brian would have loved that one. I kicked it away. It hit the sliding glass door, then bounced back, landing at my foot again.
“You can’t come back,” I yelled.
“Easy, sweetheart,” Connor said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me against him.
Presents were scattered over the floor; the only thing still on the table was the cake in its glass dome, and that was only because I hadn’t gotten to it yet. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing like the devil that I wasn’t crying because of my cheating husband.
Connor put his arm around my shoulders, leading me from the room. “Go change. I’ll have lunch ready in a few. After that, we’ll drink copious amounts of wine and eat gallons of ice cream.” He angled his head, grinning down at me. “Isn’t that what girls do when some schmuck breaks their heart?”
“That’s a girl secret. You’re not supposed to know about that.”
“My lips are sealed.” He put his hand on my back, pushing me down the hall.
I walked into my bedroom and came to an abrupt halt, staring at the bed. The one Brian and I had made love in. No way could I ever sleep on it again. Tonight I’d stay in the guest room, and tomorrow I’d go bed shopping.
My father had been a cheater—still was—and I’d seen how his behavior had destroyed my mother over the years. I’d made one promise to myself a long time ago. Never, ever would I stay with a cheater.
My trust in Brian had been shattered, and if I stayed with him, every time he walked out the door, the questions would come. Where was he going? Was he seeing Lina again or off to meet up with some other woman? The very same questions my mother had spent her marriage asking.
I was not going to be my mother.
Jenn had once tried to warn me about Brian, but I hadn’t wanted to hear it. Not about the man who’d swept me off my feet two years ago. I’d been trying to get Designs by Autumn up and running. Since I didn’t have money to spend on a decent car, I was driving an old clunker that had broken down on the way to one of my first client appointments.
I had been stranded on the side of the road, and Brian stopped. The next thing I knew he had my car towed to his dealership and I was on my way to my appointment in a brand-new Lexus he’d loaned me. We started dating, and I was sure I’d found the perfect man, one nothing like my father.
I’d told Jenn she was imagining things. Now I knew she wasn’t. Oh, I knew there would be hard, sad days ahead of me. I wasn’t done crying and definitely wasn’t done feeling sorry for myself. After the scene I’d witnessed, I was entitled.
Oh God… What if Brian had given me some kind of sexual disease? If, as I suspected now, that hadn’t been the first time he’d cheated since we’d started dating, who and how many had there been?
I was going to be sick. My legs gave out, and I crumbled into a heap on the floor. All right, tomorrow a new bed and get tested, I thought, wrapping my arms around my stomach and rocking my body.
I looked around the room, noting the things that were mine and those that were Brian’s. There was no question in my mind I wanted a divorce. But after that, what did I want?
