Page 75 of All Autumn
“Another southern name. I love it. I wish you’d brought him with you.”
Before I could answer, Lucas waved his hand toward the sofa next to Taren. “Have a seat, Autumn.”
“Thank you.” The man hot enough to makePeople Magazine’s Sexiest Men Alive list looked right at home in a southern mansion. I bet his pants and tucked-in blue button-down cost more than three of Connor’s outfits put together. Not that Lucas seemed to be hung up on money and status. He hadn’t acted like he was entitled from the first time I’d met him.
And I had to stop thinking about Connor.
Connor had been texting me and leaving voice messages all day. I’d ignored them. I should go straight to hell for treating my friend like that, but what was I supposed to say to him? That I was afraid I was falling for him? If he knew that, he’d run so fast I wouldn’t hear the door closing behind him. Connor didn’t want forever. He’d been very clear about that, so I wasn’t offended. Okay, I was a little sad, but I’d get over it.
“I’ll leave the two of you to have some time together,” Lucas said, his gaze on me. “I’d like to talk to you later, Autumn.”
“Sure.” He’d mentioned at the parade he wanted to discuss something with me, and he had my curiosity. I turned back to Taren and smiled. “Compared to the last time I saw you, you really do look great.”
“I feel better, believe me.” Her eyes shifted away, and she stared down at her hands. “You probably know I lost my husband and daughter recently?”
“Yes, and I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t begin to imagine how much you must be hurting.”
“I was. I am. But until I almost died myself, I thought I wanted to.”
“And now you don’t?” This was not the conversation I’d expected to have with her. I’d thought we’d exchange a few pleasantries and then I’d take my leave. It seemed as if she needed to tell me these things, though. I just hoped I said the right words to her.
“No.” She laughed. “Funny, isn’t it? You think you want something, but it turns out it’s the last thing you want. I haven’t told anyone else this, but I went there with the plan to jump off the waterfall so I could be with my family.” Tears pooled in her eyes. “I miss them so much.”
I almost saidI’m sorry, but I’d said that already. Maybe she didn’t need me to talk, only to listen.
“Then I stumbled on a mother bear and her cubs, and I almost got my wish. But I didn’t wish it anymore. I didn’t want to die, but I thought I was going to. And then there you, Connor, and your dog were, saving me.”
I was too shocked by her admission to respond. As awful as being attacked by the bear had been for her, it was the reason she was sitting here today, telling me all this, instead of her family mourning her.
“What I didn’t realize until I was clinging to that tree, knowing the bear would eventually shake me out of it, was that my husband would have been furious with me if I’d gone through with my plan. Stewart would want me to learn how to be happy again.” She smiled. “That’s the kind of man he was. I wish you could have met him.”
“Your life is a precious thing, and if you think about it, you carry them with you in your heart, their memories and your love for them.”
“I love that. I never thought about it like that.” She put her hand on my arm. “And I do mean it. I don’t want to die.”
It was such a relief to hear her say that. “Do you have a picture of your husband and daughter?” I don’t know what made me ask that, and I wanted to bite off my tongue. But she smiled again as if pleased by my question.
“Yes.” She pointed to a bookshelf. “There’s one of the three of us on the second shelf. It was taken shortly before Stewart and Chloe died.”
I walked to the bookshelf, picking up the first photo I saw. “I recognize you and Lucas. This must have been ten or so years ago? I assume this is your parents and another brother?”
“Twelve years ago, to be exact, and yes, my parents and Grayson. He’s the middle child.”
He looked a lot like Lucas. “I don’t know why I thought it was just you and Lucas. Maybe because I’ve never seen his name mentioned anywhere.” I glanced over at her.
“That’s because we don’t talk about him. At least Lucas and my parents don’t. He’s the black sheep of the family.”
That made him even more interesting, but she didn’t volunteer any more information, so I set the photo back on the shelf and picked up the one of her family. “Your husband is… ah, was”—God, this was awkward—“a very handsome man. And what a beautiful little girl.”
“Will you bring the photo to me? I’ve avoided looking at it since I lost them, but now I want to.”
If she started crying, I was going to bawl right along with her. I handed her the picture, taking a seat next to her. She traced their faces with her finger. If I’d lost a family I loved the way she had, I don’t know if I’d ever get over it.
“Thank you,” Taren said.
“You don’t have to keep thanking me. I’m just glad Connor and I were at the waterfall that day.”
She shook her head. “That’s not why I’m thanking you this time. I don’t know how you did it, but I can look at their picture now.”
