Page 55 of Keeping Guard
“Suppose you do. But first, my apology for bringing up bad memories. I have some of those, too. Why I tried to drink myself into oblivion. My best friend died because of me, and no, I’m not going to tell you the story. I don’t talk about it ever. But, Mr. Alba...can I call you Noah?”
Unable to speak past the baseball-size rock in his throat, Noah only nodded. He got not talking about shit that gave you nightmares and made you want to drown your memories in drugs or alcohol, whichever worked.
Joseph dropped his hand to Noah’s knee. “It was war, frogman, and nothing makes sense in war. So don’t beat yourself up so hard that you don’t see what’s right in front of you.”
“And what’s right in front of me, Marine?” He really needed to know the answer to that from a street-living man who was probably wiser than the head doc Noah had to see in the morning.
“A beautiful, kind, pure-hearted girl, but if you hurt her, this Marine still knows how to send a SEAL to hell.”
“She deserves better than me.” And wasn’t that the truth?
“She deserves whatever makes her happy. Bring that dog back to see me after you get over your snit,” Joseph said as Noah stood.
He was not in a snit. He was just...antsy. Talking to Joseph was putting thoughts in his head, like what if he could be the kind of man Peyton deserved? What would it take to become that man? What if he tried, failed, and did hurt her in the process? They were questions he wasn’t ready for, didn’t have the answers to.
“I need to go.” He pulled the prepaid phone from his pocket. “Got you this. My number’s in it. Her ex comes around again, call me.”
“You know, we could make him disappear, you and me. We have the know-how.”
Noah barely refrained from rolling his eyes. “Let’s assume it won’t come to that.” Hatching a murder plot with a homeless Marine was the last thing he needed. He grabbed Lucky’s leash, then stood.
“Well, if it does, I got your six, frogman.”
“Good to know.”
His errands done, he headed back to Peyton’s father’s house. He’d already left her unprotected too long. When he arrived, he parked across the street where he could keep an eye on the house.
While he waited for Peyton to call, he thought about her. If the timing was right, he’d want to see where a relationship with her could go. He could imagine a lifetime of waking up to her every morning, of listening in amusement when she went off on one of her tangents and then kissing her silly when she did. But along with not having answers to the questions rumbling around in his mind, the timing couldn’t be more wrong.
Soon, he’d have to return to his team, and his time with her would be nothing more than an interlude from his real life. And if that was regret he was feeling, he’d get over it. The day would come when she’d meet a man who didn’t have a head crawling with demons, and he’d be happy for her...even if he hated the idea of another man touching her.
His phone rang, his brother’s name appearing on the screen. “Hey, brother from another mother. Sup?” Clint had started the silly other mother joke, and initially, Noah had resented it. He was over it and had come to see the humor in it.
“It’s like you forgot you had a brother.”
“Like you’d allow that to happen, and honest, I planned to call you soon. I’m just trying to get my shit straight.” Clint knew he was on leave, but all Noah had told him was that he’d messed up.
“How’s that going?”
“It’s going.”
“As talkative as ever, I see. That’s okay. You can share all when I come to Asheville this weekend.”
“You don’t have to check on me. Jack’s doing a good job of keeping me in line.”
“I’m sure he is, and I’m not coming specifically to see you. That’s just a bonus of the trip. You remember I told you about Nichole’s brother Mark and the kickass games he creates?”
“Yeah.”
“I have a contract offer on his newest one. It’s big, and I want to tell him in person. He’s going to be one rich boy.”
“That’s great. I haven’t met him yet.”
“Surprising since you’re staying with Jack and Nichole.”
“About that...” He didn’t want to try to explain Peyton over the phone and why he was staying with her. “We’ll talk when you get here.”
“You bet we will. Mom wants to know when you’re gonna come see her.”
