Page 63 of Keeping Guard
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said as if he’d read her mind.
Still on their sides and facing each other, she rested her palm on his cheek. He was going to. She already knew that, but if she told him that, he would regret tonight. She smiled as she lied to him. “No worries there, sailor boy. Just keep me supplied with tingles and I’ll be happy.”
“Copy that.”
She traced the hummingbird with her finger. “Will you tell me about this? I know it has special meaning for you.”
“It’s in memory of my mother. She loved hummingbirds.”
“Thank you for telling me. I thought it was something like that. It’s beautiful.”
He put his hand over hers and squeezed. “Tell me about your dinner with your father. Why were you crying?”
“Because he finally told me why he’d never let me get close to him. He had a family before I was born.” She told him about her father’s wife and son and what happened to them. “All these years, he was a broken man and I didn’t know.”
“Does it help you now that you know now?”
“So much yes. For the first time since I came to live with him, he told me he loved me. That was why I cried. I never expected to hear him say those words to me.”
“You didn’t have any hint that he was married once?”
“No. He said that no one at Elk Antler even knew, so there wasn’t any gossip to the fact.”
“You had quite an amazing day, huh?”
“Definitely, and then it was followed up by an amazing night.”
“Yeah?” He brushed his hand along the side of her breast. “Think you’d like a little more amazing?”
“Show me what else you got in your bag of tricks, SEAL boy.” And did he ever.
“Don’t leave the building unless you’re with your father,” Noah told Peyton when he dropped her off at Elk Antler the next morning. “Call me when you’re ready to go home, and I’ll come pick you up.”
“Copy that, sir.” She tapped her lips. “Do I get a goodbye kiss, honey?”
“Bring that mouth here, sugarbuns.” He leaned over the console. After kissing her, he waited until she was safely in the building before heading to Operation K-9 Brothers.
As he drove away, he realized he was smiling. It felt both good and wrong. He’d given himself permission last night to temporarily put his guilt and dark thoughts away in a box. Fearing he’d have a nightmare, he’d planned to sneak out of bed after Peyton fell asleep. Funny thing, he’d fallen asleep wrapped around her body, and had slept next to her until morning free of nightmares. He’d existed on an hour or two of sleep here and there since he’d so royally screwed up. That he’d slept through the night seemed like a minor miracle.
Did he deserve even a minor miracle? He didn’t think so. Yet, he wanted more of these good feelings, he wanted more Peyton. He didn’t fool himself that one night with her and his nightmares were a thing of the past.
After dropping Lucky off with Jack, Noah went to the therapist appointment. He did not want to do this. If he thought he could get away with it, he’d be a no show. Resigned to his fate, he followed the GPS instructions to an office in a medical center.
“Here goes nothing,” he muttered. As he entered the building, he wished he’d brought Lucky with him, and what a damn strange thought that was. They’d discussed whether or not Lucky should come with him, but had agreed that since Lucky wasn’t trained yet, he could be disruptive. Not that he’d ever admit it to Jack, but he was calmer when the dog was by his side.
“I’m Noah Alba,” he told the receptionist.
“Dr. Meadows will be right with you.”
“Thanks.” He headed for a chair, but before he could sit, his name was called. He turned to see an attractive woman in her forties or fifties. “That’s me.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Meadows, or if you prefer, Renee.” She smiled. “If neither of those suit, just Doc also works.”
He preferred not to be here at all, but she probably didn’t want to hear that. He’d expected a male therapist, so a female was a surprise and not a welcome one. How could she relate to the event that was his personal hell?
Not having a choice, he followed her to an office. A couch was along the back wall, and no way was he stretching out on that. He chose a chair in front of a beautiful desk that he guessed was mahogany. The walls were a cream color with pastel landscape paintings on the walls. He assumed the room was designed to be relaxing, but he was far from relaxed.
“Do you prefer Noah, Mr. Alba, or Petty Officer Alba?” she asked as she settled in the chair next to him.
