Page 68 of Keeping Guard
“What are we doing?” he asked when they reached the bathroom.
“Taking a shower.”
“Peyton, I’m really not up for sex tonight.”
“Not asking for that.” She turned on the water. “Strip.” While he was removing his clothes, she took off hers. She followed him in. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
“It’s your party.”
His voice was listless, his shoulders were slumped, and his face and eyes looked weary, as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Before tonight, even with his haunted eyes, there had been a strength and confidence radiating from him that was gone as he stood in her shower with his hands braced against the tile and his head bowed.
There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but he was lost in his memories and wouldn’t hear her. She hoped with her loving care and some sleep, he’d be back to himself tomorrow. Then they could talk.
She poured bodywash on her hands, then started at his shoulders. When she pressed her thumbs into his skin, massaging the tense muscles at the bottom of his neck, he grunted. She thought it was a good grunt. From his shoulders, she moved down his back, scraping her fingernails over his skin. He shivered.
Because she didn’t want this to turn into anything that felt sexual to him—that would cause him to feel like she wanted that sex he wasn’t up for tonight—she grabbed a washcloth. After pouring more bodywash, she dropped the cloth over his shoulder.
“Here. Finish up on the places I missed.” Although, she’d love to clean those particular places, too. Next time.
She stepped out of the shower, and while he was finishing, she quickly dried off, then put her leggings and his T-shirt back on. By the time she was dressed, he was coming out. She grabbed another towel.
His eyes dropped to hers. “I’m sorry I’m not—”
“Shhh.” She put her finger over his lips. “No talking. Not tonight. Just let me take care of you, okay?”
“You don’t have to.”
“True, but I want to.” She dried him off. “Put some boxer briefs on, then get in bed. I’ll be back in a minute.” He’d slept naked the past nights, but a naked Noah was too much temptation. As if he read her thoughts, he smirked. That smirk made her happy. He wasn’t completely lost in his head.
Lucky raced into the bathroom as she came out. He hated being separated from Noah, and she was sure that Noah was finally growing fond of the dog, whether he wanted to or not. She smiled thinking how much Noah hadn’t wanted anything to do with Lucky in the beginning.
Maybe she could be like Lucky and worm her way into Noah’s heart. She stilled in the middle of the hallway. No, she couldn’t think like that. The days were counting down to Noah’s departure. She had to keep him in the box marked “On loan from the U.S. government. Enjoy him while you have him but return him as soon as possible.”
She hated that box.
Doing anything about it was out of her power, though. All she could do was appreciate the blessing of having Noah in her life, however short that time was, and learning how it could be, should be, with a man. She padded to the kitchen, poured a healthy three fingers of whiskey, got a treat for Lucky, and returned to her bedroom.
“Treats for my boys.” She tossed Lucky’s, and he caught it out of the air. “You swallowed that whole,” she admonished him. He looked back at her with eyes that hoped for more. “Sorry, sweet boy. That’s all.”
Noah was sitting up against the headboard, the cover pulled up to his waist. She was glad for that, even though she wanted to pull it down to admire what was hidden. His mighty fine chest was in view, though, and as much as she wanted to spend much time admiring that, she only allowed her eyes to skim over it. Then she lifted her gaze to his to see him watching her.
“Drink this.” She held out the glass.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She walked to her side of the bed and climbed in. Normally, she slept in boy shorts and a camisole. With Noah these past nights, she’d slept naked like him, and that had been an odd feeling at first, but she’d grown to like it. For tonight, she kept on her leggings and the large tee. Less tempting this way.
When he finished his drink and set it on the night table, she rolled over to face him. “Come down here and put your back to me.” He raised his brows but didn’t say anything, just did as she asked.
She wrapped her body around his. “I’ve got you. Go to sleep.”
“Thank you, princess,” he whispered sometime later.
She squeezed the arms she had around him. As she held him, she listened to his breathing slow as he fell asleep. Once she was sure he was out, she pressed her cheek to his back, closed her eyes, and joined him in dreamland.
“No! No. No. Fuck no.”
Peyton jerked awake. She was still wrapped around Noah, felt his body jerk, then tremble.
