Page 14 of Glass & Groundwork
The young man gave me an understanding nod. He was young and his beard was still patchy, but beneath his youthful appearance and playfulness was a person who had been dealt a rough hand and who had strength and compassion in spades. He could be a lot at times, not always knowing when to turn the teasing off, but there was no malice in it.
With Yahir retreating back into the house, I knew he would ensure everyone else gave us some privacy as well. Which was a challenge in a house that had few secrets.
I slid a glance to Jasper, trying not to be obvious that I was waiting for him. His hands tightened around the steering wheel, gripping it tight, likely trying to decide whether to stay or leave. I really hoped he stayed. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted to see him. I wanted to offer him support, but mostly I wanted to rip apart whoever had put him in such a state of despair. The notion surprised me, but I couldn't deny this strange protectiveness I felt for him. The feeling wasn't new, not really. I felt protective of all my kids, except he wasn’t one of my kids.
Breathing deep, I tried to calm the turmoil I felt building inside in order to provide whatever calm and comfort Jasper might need. Whatever he was dealing with wouldn't be helped by my internal vigilante who wished he could dole out justiceon those who hurt the people I cared about. I wasn’t a violent person, but I worked hard to keep my anger from controlling me.
Finally, the door of the Jeep opened, and I forced myself not to rush to him, letting him come on his own terms. When he looked up to see my face, I could see devastation written all over him. He wore a dress shirt and slacks with the top few buttons undone, and a tie loosened, hanging crooked on his chest. In all the times I'd seen him here at the farm and at Heartcraft, I'd never seen him in modern clothing. I'd also never seen him not be thoroughly put together, each detail picked out intentionally. The disheveled look made something in my heart crack open. Jasper wasnotokay.
Jasper scuffed his dress shoe against the gravel and he lowered his gaze. “I'm sorry. I didn't want to go home.”
Unable to keep my distance any longer, I hurried over, stopping right in front of him. “Can I give you a hug?”
He sniffled loudly and gave an almost imperceptible nod, not looking at me. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him against my chest, holding him to me. His forehead rested on my shoulder and his hands gripped the back of my shirt. Jasper melted against me and he sniffed again. I didn't move, simply held him tight. I would happily hold him for as long as he needed.
The man was a few inches shorter than my six-foot-one frame, and a little leaner than me. I was trying not to think about how perfectly he molded against my body, or how good he felt in my arms. This wasn't the right time for those kinds of thoughts. There might never be a right time for it.
After a while, I broke the silence, but made no move to end the embrace. I'd learned once that a hug should be however long the person needed it. If staying in my arms was what he needed, I was more than happy to oblige.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly.
“Not really. Not yet, at least.” Jasper's voice was muffled as he spoke with his face still pressed into my shoulder.
“Okay. That's fine. You don't have to do or say anything until you're ready. Do you want to stay for dinner? The kids are setting up inside.”
Jasper sniffed once again and relaxed his grip on my shirt. He wiped his face and took a step away from me, and I immediately missed the warmth of his body against mine. Though his eyes seemed a little clearer than they had been when he first stepped out of the truck, which was a relief to see. “I'm not sure I'll be good company.”
“You don't have to be. Nobody expects anything from you. They'll be happy you're here whether you join in the conversation or not.” I reached out and gave his arm a light squeeze, not ready to give up the physical contact yet.
Jasper pursed his lips in thought, his gaze slipping past me to watch the bodies moving about inside the house. “Will there be any seafood?”
“Nope. Fridays are spaghetti nights with options for meat sauce or vegetarian.”
A sad smile appeared briefly and he bobbed his head. “Okay, good. I don't think I could stomach smelling seafood right now.”
“So you'll stay?” I tried not to sound too eager, but my heart did a little flutter.
“I'll stay.”
“Great!”Tone it down, Gio.I coughed to clear my throat in an effort to make my energy match the need of the situation. “That's great.”
Jasper tucked himself into my side and my arm immediately went around his shoulders. His voice cracked when he whispered, “Thank you, Gio.”
“I'm glad you're here, Jasper.” I pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head before I could even think about what I was doing. It wasan instinctual response given the closeness and the ache in his words, an action I'd done countless times with my kids, which… he wasn’t. Eduardo was only four years younger than him, but he’d been with me for ten years. It wasn’t Jasper’s age that was the distinction, but I wasn’t ready to quantify why I didn’t see him the same way as the rest of my family.
Jasper didn't say anything in response to the head kiss I was mortified about, nor did he push away from me. In fact, he leaned a little closer for half a second before we separated, or maybe I imagined it. Whatever the reaction, real or imagined, I was grateful Jasper felt like this would be a safe place for him to come.
Before we entered the house, I held up the crooked tie, assuming he wouldn’t want to be seen in such a state. Jasper might not care at the moment, but he might later when his foggy state cleared. “Do you want me to fix this or take it off?”
Jasper looked down at the navy silk material in my hand and wrinkled his nose. “You can cut it off for all I care.”
“Okay.” I loosened the knot a little more and slid it over his head. Sticking it in my pocket, I smoothed a hand down the front of his dress shirt, trying to straighten it out. “There. Is that better?”
“A little. Thank you.” He gave me a half-smile that reflected how worn he seemed.
Once inside, I felt Jasper tense beside me, as if bracing himself for the onslaught of questions he expected to come his way. When the kids weren’t waiting at the door to interrogate him, he seemed to loosen slightly. They were all seated around the table, giving him space, and greeted him happily, as if it was totally normal for him to show up the way he did.
Dinner started with dishes clanking and being passed and the only questions Jasper had to answer were iced tea or lemonade and meat sauce or veggie. He was quiet through the start ofdinner and everyone gave him space to simply be. They'd each had their share of introspective staring off into space and not wanting to talk, myself included, but I loved them for seeing that he needed a minute.
