Page 44 of Galen's Redemption
“I’m sorry. I just… I can’t.”
“No, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I apologize for making youuncomfortable. I didn’t intend for that to happen. Can you tell me what was going on in your head?”
Galen’s voice grew softer. “You said you don’t do casual, and then you wanted… I’m confused.”
Oh God. “I’m an idiot. I wanted to show you that I could be fun and spontaneous too. I didn’t want you thinking I wasn’t capable of keeping up with you.”
“But I never thought that!” He blew out a breath.“I tried to understand that things change so quickly, but… I mean, casual is the only thing I know. I just thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Why don’t you sit down and talk to me?”
A soft creak, maybe Galen sitting on the bed? “I don’t understand what you want.”
Robert thought carefully about his next words. He didn’t want any mixed signals now. “Do you really want to know? I’ll tellyou. I want us to get to know each other. I don’t want to rush into sex, because there has to be more between us than that. Or, at least, I want more than that. I want to take you places to eat. I want to order ice cream, and then wipe whipped cream on your nose. I want to go to a carnival and win you the biggest, fluffiest stuffed animal they have. I want to learn what makes your eyes light up andwhat will make you smile. Do I think about sex between us? Yeah, I won’t deny it. But I want it to be because it’s something that will help bring us closer together. My parents instilled some very old-fashioned sensibilities in me. I want what they have. A lifetime of love and caring, being devoted to one person. I admit, we’re still getting to know one another, and I don’t want to rush into somethingwe might not be ready for, but I would like the chance.”
“What about Noel and Lincoln?”
“What about them? They’re my friends, but I won’t let them make me choose between you and them. If I’m honest, I believe that if you went to them and told them what happened, they’d understand and forgive you.”
“Maybe. I’m not sure. All things considered, after what I said to Noel, I wouldn’t blame him ifhe never forgave me.”
There was undisguised pain in Galen’s voice, and Robert wanted to comfort him in the worst way.
What is it about you, Galen? It goes beyond my wanting to fix your problems. I want to be the one you come to with them, to be there for you in ways no one else was.
“Tell me a story.”
Galen gulped. “What?”
“A story. You know, once upon a time, Galen…. And then you fill inthe blank.”
“You should sleep.”
“And you should stop avoiding the question. I want to know all about who Galen Merriweather is.”
Galen barked a laugh. “Let’s talk about you instead. I’ve looked you up, you know. You’ve led an amazing life.”
Deflection, self-deprecation, quick to anger, a father who says he prefers his brother to him. It was no wonder Galen had self-esteem issues and why hewas so driven to get noticed.
“Galen…. Please, don’t do that. I want to know about you.”
“Why?” There was a plaintive edge to Galen’s voice. “There’s nothing special about me.”
“Is that what you think? Tell me why, then.”
A deep growl. “Fine! You want to know what’s wrong with me? Is that it?” His anger was palpable, even through the phone. “I graduated top of my class from the Universityof Chicago with a Masters of Business. Lincoln went into the business right after high school. I brokered my first deal for my father when I was twenty-three. Lincoln’s came a few days after his twenty-fourth birthday, but it was much smaller than the one I did. And you wanna know what happened? Father took Lincoln out to celebrate.”
“Galen, I—”
“No! You wanted to know, so shut the fuck up andlisten. I hid my sexuality because my father was always going on about Lincoln’s, but who does he favor? Out-and-proud Lincoln, of course. No matter what I do, even when I’ve done it better than Lincoln, it’s never been good enough. So, what more do you want to know, Robert? How many other memories of my inadequacy do you want to dredge up? You know what, maybe you should just get to know Lincolnbetter.” He took a deep breath and blew it out. “After all, he’s the favored son, and I’m… not.” Galen sniffled, and it broke Robert’s heart to know the part he played in Galen’s sadness. “Good night, Robert.”
And then he hung up, leaving Robert to stare at his phone and wish to God he could beat Jonathan Merriweather down for what he’d done to his sons. He thought about calling Galen back butdecided maybe he might need some time. And it wasn’t like Robert was going away, no matter how hard Galen pushed.
The question was how to show Galen that he had worth. That he was special in his own right. That needed to take precedence. And it had to start right away.
