Page 75 of Galen's Redemption
Instead he went to the coffee maker that he’d seen on his first visit and started a pot that would curl the hairs on Robert’s chest. While it brewed, he went over and kissed Robert on the forehead. It was an oddly intimate gesture, but the overwhelming desire to take careof the man who spent so much of his life caring for others—including Galen—demanded it.
“When we get you sober, we’re going to have a talk, you and me. I have some things to say to you. But now? I’m going to take care of you.”
A sleep-filled voice whispered a hoarse okay.
When the machine beeped, Galen got up and grabbed a mug, filled it with coffee so dark that it might have been tar, andtook it back to the desk.
“You might not believe me, but you’ll thank me in the morning.”
He blew on the coffee to cool it some, then held it to Robert’s lips. Robert wrinkled his nose but didn’t draw back. Galen kept the cup still, until Robert’s eyes cracked open a bit.
“I don’t want coffee. I just want to enjoy this feeling.”
“You mean the one that’s going to have you heaving your gutsout in the morning?” Galen wanted to ask Robert why he drank so much, but admissions made when drunk didn’t count. He would have to be stone sober before they addressed it.
Robert pushed ineffectually at Galen, sloshing the coffee a bit. “Can’t you just leave me alone?”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave.”
Robert didn’t even react to the bad Hal imitation.
“Come on. Drink some coffee.”
Robertpushed up from the desk, swaying on his feet. His eyes were glassy and unfocused. “I don’twantany fucking coffee. I want you to leave me alone.”
“You know, I don’t think that’s what you want at all. I’m willing to bet you want to go sit on the couch and snuggle up with me and tell me what’s going on in your head.”
He took a step closer, but Robert held up his hands. “Don’t, Galen.”
Therewas a note of warning in his voice, but in the time he’d known Robert, Galen had come to believe the man would never willingly hurt anyone.
“I’m coming over there, and you’re going to let me.”
Like a balloon with a pinprick, all the air rushed out of Robert and he stumbled into Galen’s arms. “I killed her.” His voice was soft, broken. “She trusted me, and I failed. I didn’t sell her the drugs,but I killed her just the same.”
“You didn’t. You moved heaven and earth to get her help, but…. Well, we’re only human.”
Robert leaned back, his eyes twitching side to side. “But don’t you see? I can’t afford to be. I have to be strong, make things right for everyone. It’s what I’m supposed to do.” He barked a laugh. “I’m fucking up their lives, my life, and now I’m dragging you down with me.”
“How?” The notion was ridiculous.
He hiccupped, and the foul smell of the booze burst forth. “Noel asked me once if I wanted something for myself. I told him I couldn’t have the shelter and someone I loved, because the two were incompatible. Then you came into my life, and now? I-I-I don’t know what I want more.”
“Why don’t you drink the coffee and we’ll talk tomorrow?”
Robert reached out andgrabbed Galen’s arm. “Why did you make me fall in love with you?”
Galen opened his eyes wide. He tried to remember that anything said while drunk should be largely ignored, but…. It was the same thing Galen had been whispering to Mouse for weeks. He’d fallen head over heels for Robert, his family, his life. He longed for Sundays, when he could hear about Robert’s week. They’d sit on the couch,one of them lying in the other’s lap, and just… talk. During the week he could scarcely wait for Sunday, and on Sunday, he wanted that day to never end.
“Maybe we should just get you upstairs to your room.”
“I don’t want to go there. I’m going to have the dreams, and I can’t handle them anymore.” Robert tapped his temple. “She’s in here. Always pleading for me to help her, to fulfill my promise.And I try, Galen. I try so fucking hard. But the more I try, the more I lose. And it won’t be long before everything is gone.”
“What are you talking about?”
Robert lowered his voice to a whisper. “I can’t keep up with the maintenance of the building, the food, the items people here need. I keep going out and trying to find new revenue, but it’s not as easy as it used to be. I wanted to be thehero and save everyone, and now I’m going to have to tell them I can’t help anymore.”
Robert crossed back to the desk, folded his arms atop it, and dropped his head onto them. From the way his shoulders were jerking, Galen could only assume he was crying.
