Page 82 of Stained Hearts
“What? It’s funny.”
Seeing him shed the fear of a few minutes ago gave me hope that Aiden would be okay.
Well, thatwewould.
Chapter Twenty
TWO WEEKSlater, Aiden and I sat down with Mom and Dad to talk about buying the house. Dad took me around to show me the changes he’d made to bring it up to ADA standards. With the help of his friends, he’d added a ramp to the front and back doors. There was a new lift on the stairs that could help Aiden make it from the first to the second floor. There were so many things he’d done that Aiden was humbled.
“You shouldn’t have had to do that.”
Mom tapped him on the nose. “You shut up, young man. We do for family, and that’s what you are.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “You’re every bit our son, Aiden Dawson, and don’t you ever forget that.”
Mom took Aiden through the house to show him some more of what they’d done. Meanwhile, Dad stayed behind to talk with me.
“How’s he doing?”
I sighed. “He’s having nightmares. He gets twisted up in the sheets and screams that they’re pinning him to the ground. When I wake him, he’s sweat-slicked and his eyes are wild. It takes a few minutes to bring him back down.”
The bruises had started to fade, but I knew the memory would last a lifetime. The cops had caught the bastards who hurt my Aiden, and they tried to pass it off as “just messing with him.” The cast was proof enough that it wasn’t a game, but the video pretty much screwed them. The cops gave them a chance to roll over on the others, and they all sang. In the end, the only one who was charged was Gabriel Montes. Sixteen goddamn years old, and he thought it was funny to beat a man who couldn’t fight back.
Fucker.
“He’s seeing his therapist again. She’s helping him cope with the trauma. He says he’s happy he went back and tells me he does feel better, even if the dreams keep coming. She reminds him that therapy isn’t an instant fix and that he needs to be patient.”
“That sounds good.”
I bit my lip, because Aiden wasn’t the only one who was discovering things. Like how hard it was to find treatment options for Aiden, as well as services for us to meet as a family. Robert hadn’t been kidding when he said things moved slowly. Eventually we decided that we would find our own person to talk with. “I’ve learned that some of the things I did when I got together with Aiden were wrong, and potentially harmful to him.” I blew out a breath. “I honestly thought I was helping, but I could have made things so much worse. I was horrified when he told me all the things I’d done wrong.”
The therapist, John, said that what I thought were simple things were anything but. When Aiden was having problems, I figured picking him up was okay, but when Aiden said not to, I should have backed off. I could have hurt him, and I never realized it. John was teaching me to listen to him, to watch him for signals, to understand that when he says he doesn’t want my help, I need to leave him alone. When Olivia found out that she was also feeding into the same problem, she asked if she, too, could come with us, because she wanted to understand.
For his part, Aiden was learning things as well. He was so used to how everyone treated him, he got used to thinking it was okay when it wasn’t. He was coming to understand that he had the right to ask for help or to say no. He was also learning to be patient with me, our family, and himself if we messed up. All he needed to do was explain it to us, so we could understand. It’s hard to see someone you love in pain, and know you can’t do what you think is best, but to find out what Aiden needed. John said much of what we were doing would be considered ableist, ascribing what we thought things should be like for Aiden, instead of understanding his reality. God, even after the sessions, it was so hard to not rush to Aiden after a fall. I had to ask him if he was okay, and find out if he needed my help. I have to admit, he gritted his teeth and showed me a core of strength that was remarkable. When I said this to John, he laughed and told me that people with disabilities learned all manner of ways to cope with the world in which they lived. He said that Aiden could do anything he set his mind to, including things that I would have thought impossible. Mountain climbing, SCUBA diving, and even skydiving weren’t off-limits to him.
Of course, when Aiden heard skydiving, his ears perked up. Personally, I thought he was trying to give me a heart attack. But I listened, and I learned, and I did my best to not be so much of a white knight, thinking I had to—or even could—fix things for him.
John said not to be so hard on myself, because I wasn’t doing anything so many others had. He said that too many people thought those with handicaps needed able-bodied people to take care of them, and nothing was further from the truth. I felt awful, because I had done that. He said at least I was willing to listen, to learn, and to grow with Aiden as my partner, not as someone I thought needed to lean on me for my strength. He gave me a list of resources that were helping me understand Aiden’s needs, and how best to meet them without treating him like he was helpless. God, they were such eye-openers, and I cringed at the behavior I had thought was acceptable, but definitely wasn’t.
“I messed up big time, Dad, but I’m trying to be there for Aiden when he needs me. And he’s blossoming. I screw up every so often, but I’m doing my best to stand back and let Aiden tell me if he needs help. I want to do right by him.”
“One day at a time, Tom.”
Like it had been with Brian. Patience and understanding were key.
“I know. After a nightmare, he tries to tell me how sorry he is. I hold him until his heart stops racing.”
“That’s great. You’re a good man.”
I mock punched his arm. “I learned from the best.”
“What does he have to say about moving in here?”
I took a sip of my lemonade, then put the glass back on the coaster Mom insisted we use. “He’s excited. He’s also a little stunned over what Brian did, but he says he has no regrets.” I glanced around to ensure Mom and Aiden weren’t anywhere in earshot. “He wants to start a family.”
Dad’s eyes widened. “Really? You mean….”
“Yes! You and Mom might finally have grandkids to spoil. Now, are you sure you want to sell the house? We might need to call on you for advice and babysitting duties.”
“I swear to you, if you and Aiden have a kid, your mother is going to make us stay.” He reached out and locked an arm around my neck. “And I can’t think of a better reason to.”
