Page 80 of Stained Hearts
He leaned back and sniffled. “You?”
“Yep, me.” I pushed him back until he was lying on the pillow. “I’m going to tell you something no one else knows, okay?”
He nodded.
“I’ve been in love with you for months, but I couldn’t say the words. I was afraid because I lost Brian, and the thought of losing you scared the crap out of me. I was afraid if I let you into my heart and something happened, it would kill me.”
“Oh.” He nibbled on his lower lip. “Does this mean you would rather not be with me?”
“What? Oh hell no. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I was wrong. Having you in my heart gives me strength, and loving you makes every day a blessing for me. Not having you would be worse than risking everything to be with you.” I reached out and stroked a hand over his cheek. The bruising was horrid, mottled purple and red, especially around his left eye. If that was the damage they’d caused when he was curled up, I would hate to have seen what would have happened if he hadn’t been.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
He tried to move closer to me, but the only way he could have was if he was in my lap. “I was so scared. I stopped on the bridge to watch the boats, and they came up from behind me. They asked for money, and I told them I didn’t have any. Then one of them said he wanted my chair. I said no, and as soon as I did, he grabbed the handles and dumped me out of it. I was able to grab one of the wheels, but….” His voice lowered to a whisper. “I couldn’t stop them. They took it, and there wasn’t anything I could do.”
An icy fist crushed my heart to hear Aiden sound so afraid and broken. I stroked his hair, making the movement soft, gentle, and as nonthreatening as possible.
“And all the while, people were standing there like it wasn’t happening. Finally I couldn’t hold on anymore and had to let go. They laughed, and one of them jumped in the chair as the others pushed him in it.”
My parents had taught me not to hate anyone. It was wasted energy, they said. Today that didn’t matter. I hated the people who had made Aiden afraid.
“I’m sorry.”
He reached for my hand and wrapped his fingers around mine. “Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I wanted to tell him it was my fault, to say that I should have taken him or that I should never let him be alone, but the truth of the matter was, none of this was about me. It was about Aiden and helping to take that fear from him.
“No, I know. I just wish it hadn’t happened. You didn’t deserve it—no one does. I can’t tell you how proud I am of your strength, Aiden.”
“Strength?” He barked a laugh. “I couldn’t stop them from stealing my chair.”
“How many guys were there? You were one person, so tell me how many people it took to take it from you.”
His cheeks pinked. “Five.”
“Do you know anyone who could fight off five people? Seriously, anyone at all? Against all odds, you held on, trying to keep them from taking what was yours. That’s not the act of a weak man. You took a beating from them over a chair. You should have let them have it, but you didn’t. Why?”
“Because it’s mine!”
“And that’s the only reason?”
He mumbled something, and I noticed he never let go of my hand. “Say again.”
“Because I need it to keep up with you. Aren’t you listening to me?”
His voice was shrill, and I knew he was struggling to find some bit of normal in this whole debacle. He needed his rock. He needed me. I reached out and put a hand on his leg.
“And why did you think that? Have I said or done something that made you think that was even a possibility?”
He shook his head.
“Talk to me, Aiden. Tell me what’s going on in your mind.”
He sighed. “When they knocked me from the chair, the only thing I could think of was when you said you could end up in a chair one day too. In my head, we were both in a chair, and you just kept going without me. I was so afraid of losing you.”
And the tears started again. I reached over and wrapped an arm around him, doing my best not to jostle his broken arm.
“That’s not going to happen. I promise.” Though I knew I should have waited, I thought Aiden needed to hear about Brian’s letter. “Something happened today, and it involves you. I think it’ll be something you want to hear, but if you prefer, we can discuss it later.”
