Page 62 of Reclaiming Quinn
“Of course.” She was quiet for a moment, then said, “Alpha, do you want me to say anything to Caleb?”
Lyram fidgeted, which was so unlike the man Quinn knew. In the months he’d been in Lydon, Lyram had been rock steady, never wavering from his duty. Now he seemed almost afraid. “No, it’s fine.”
“Don’t you think he’d like to know you miss him?”
Lyram snatched the phone and brought it to his ear. “Yes, tell him that,” he pleaded. “I don’t know how anyone can go without being next to their mate all the time. It’s like a pit in my stomach opened up, and there’s nothing that can close it.”
“I know it’s hard, but be patient. His whole world was turned upside down. He’s always believed in you, and given time he will again.” She sighed. “I shouldn’t say this, but he always had a crush on you. He glowed whenever you were around. He… he dreamed about you too. When I asked what they were about, he wouldn’t tell me about them. That leads me to believe it’s not something he wanted his mother to know.”
An almost-whine slid from Lyram. “I’m going to make this right, I swear. As soon as we get home, I’ll sit him down and we’ll hash this out. I know he’s angry with me, but—”
“Angry with you? Why on earth would you say that?”
Lyram sighed. “I dragged him through a shift he wasn’t prepared for. I violated his trust, and he’s hurt and angry.”
“Yes, he’s hurt and angry, but deep down he’s grateful you saved his life. He’s got two sides warring there. One that is your mate, and the other that’s a young man who’s had too much heaped on him in his life. Now that he’s eighteen, he can shift, but he also has to deal with the visions. I can hear him whimpering at night, and I believe he’s dreaming. Caleb has no training, and with his father gone, there’s no one to help him.”
“Then I’ll find someone.” He turned to Gareth. “Do you know anyone?”
“No, but I won’t stop looking until we find the person who can help. You know that Caleb is like my kid.”
Family. Everywhere Quinn looked, it was on display. He had to let go of the anger that still stayed buried inside of him. He’d forgiven Mother, and now maybe he had to forgive the person he most blamed.
Himself.
For years, Quinn thought if he’d been stronger, or if he had been special like Sean, he would have been safe. But Ryker and others from the pack beat him down, spit on him, told him how worthless he was, and Quinn understood now that he had taken their words—and the beatings—to heart. He had believed them, and that had worked into his mind and his heart. It cost him years of his life and, he’d thought, his wolf. But Deke had told him it was still there, and Mother had said the same thing.
He closed his eyes and turned his thoughts inward, hoping to find that spark.
“Quinn?”
He jerked up. “What?”
Gareth smiled down at him. “You fell asleep.”
“What? No, I couldn’t have.”
He looked around and everyone was engaged in conversation in spots other than where they’d been.
“It’s only been a few minutes,” Gareth soothed. “You called out for Deke in your sleep, and I could feel your anguish. Wanna talk about it?”
He shouldn’t, and he knew that, but Gareth was Alpha Supreme, chosen by Mother.
“Can you….” He swallowed hard. “Can you tell if I’m still a wolf?”
If he thought Gareth would laugh or tease, Quinn didn’t know him at all. Gareth leaned in, put his nose to Quinn’s neck, and inhaled. When he straightened, he pursed his lips.
“Who told you that you weren’t?”
“Ryker told me my wolf was dead. Deke said it wasn’t, and Mother said she knew he was still a part of me.”
“But you’re still afraid.”
Quinn nodded. “I loved my wolf. Even though I only had the two shifts, I couldn’t believe how amazing the shift made me feel. The freedom, the way he—we—saw the world. I mean, I only started shifting when they….” He whimpered. “I thought it was the best thing ever, and when I lost it, I was crushed.”
“You didn’t lose it. You can’t. Your wolf is and always will be a part of you. It’s Mother’s gift to us.” He pinned Quinn with a sharp stare. “They made you afraid of shifting because they made it hurt. That’s nothing to do with you—it was that fucking psychopath.” He held out a hand. “Stand up.”
Quinn stood, his legs like jelly. He watched as Gareth stepped closer and put his hands on Quinn’s shoulders.
“I want you to close your eyes and listen for my wolf, okay? I’m going to call to yours. It won’t fix anything, but it’ll let you know. Let’s see if we can’t make him poke his nose out for a look-see.”
Quinn let his eyes slide shut. For a moment there were only the murmurs of the others in the room, but then he heard it. A subvocal whine, which caused Quinn’s ears to perk up. The sound, gentle as it was, vibrated through him, touching him at his core, and then, a soft fluttering, a stirring of… something. He was fascinated by the noises Gareth was making, because it wasn’t long before there was an answering chuff from within Quinn. For the first time in far too long, Quinn felt it. That flash of curiosity, of wanting to see the world around him, not with his human eyes, but those that belonged to his other self. Quinn’s heart rejoiced, and he threw his head back and cried out in ecstasy, not surprised when it turned into a howl.
Quinn’s wolf was alive.
